How about, Mother's and Fatrher's day? Let me PLEASE celebrate my abusive parents? Or, if I have no contact with them, let me think of the loss I have in not having parents.

One bright side to all this, is that I don't have to search and SEARCH for a card for my mother. I always would find the ones about the best mother who always sacraficed FOR her kids...I would think, for my mother it should read..."for a mother who willingly sacraficed her kids..."

I'm sorry, I  have a terrible time on such holidays, the are times for depression and saddness for me, reminders of the dysfunction form which I have survived through.

Anyone else feel as I do?
Or maybe I am al alone...

Love,
Dara

sounds like you need to make an effigy and have a go at it.  Parents are people who own our souls, trying to make us fit their needs.  It is our job to reclaim ourself at any cost, unfortunately.  The deeper a parent's hold is, the greater the hatred required for decoupling.  But also, the greater the strength gained upon success

 

"Hey Beavis..."

Thanks for the insoght. Luckily for me, I have ZERO contact with my "father" for over 9 years, and very litle contact with my mother...all by choice!

Hows about you?

Love,
Dara

If I were you, I would be proud to have such self-respect.  No-one deserves to own you, and anybody who thinks they do had better watch out!   >:(  :)

I keep in touch with my family according to whether or not I feel like it, I am not interested in moral standards of what I should or should not do or feel.

I think you are right on  ;)


8)

yea dont feel bad holidays suck ass!!!!! i tihnk thas my favortie saying too lol but yea holidays do suck and your not alone, but come here and talk and let it out, ill try to help the best i can bcuz i know im not perect (haha) and ifyou dont wanna give ur mo ma card, dont.. shell get over it.. thas how i fell.. Roze

Dear Dara. So the damm day is over and I really hope it went ok for you too. I was reading a few mails on the abuse forum and I realized this huge silence inside. I feel I can talk about anything anywhere but describing my relating to my family makes me just.... silent.

I think it took me my whole life to realize that parents don´t love their kids just because and just like that. It may happen, it may not. Parents can be monsters. I knew it in my mind, but only there. On a feeling level I still sometimes feel ungreatful and nasty for having left a cruel and sadist place.
It is difficult. As soon as a am getting pissed off about them, I feel sucked in and involved again. So right now I stay silent and don´t move till I have the energy again. It is good for me not to have any contact. I wish I had stopped the contact much earlier.

The good news is that I am going to the greyhound rescue place next Friday with my girlfriend Natalie.
LOVe PJ

YAAY! I am so excited about the greyhound! I have to email you pics of my 2 greys. PLEASE, let me know how it turns out, ok?

Love,
Dara!

Thanks Dara, I will let you know how it was. I am very excited!
Love, PJ