6 years and a Lifetime ago(in remembrance of my rebirth)


I close my eyes....remembering so long ago
letting a trail of sweet bitter teardrops
begin to fall
coating my tender cheeks
I remember it all....
This year they have a safer place to fall
no longer do they hit the harsh ground
no longer am I alone to feel the cold shivers
going up and down my spine
to remember 6 years and a lifetime ago
I have strong shoulders to lean on now
someone to share my sorrow of that day
someone who is willing to hold my hand
As we celebrate my rebirth together
I remember it as if it were only yesterday
Yet I remember also all that I have
accomplished and know it is behind me
Or is it totally behind or just left in my past
6 years and a lifetime ago....
I remember the coldness running through my veins
I was numb with fear and anticipation
pondering the unknown..
fearing my future reality
yet not knowing what that was to be
As I look back like watching a old movie
I am able to see
I touch the screen my fingertips seep through
as my past is still tangible
It is still painfully touchable
though it is drifting out of my reach
it will never leave my mind
realizing it was 6 years and a lifetime ago
helps to numb the pain
but does not kill the memories
I will never be totally blind
my heart was like a tablet God etched
this on my heart forever
with my own blood drops
it became part of me
I reach behind me and I realize where I was
and I cringe at the thought of ever going back again
now I thankfully travel there only in my memories
and I can open my eyes
and be where I am today
I will always remember that day
6 years and a lifetime ago
I walk the walls of the hospital in my mind
I will always know
it is like a mental journey
with a trail of tears within me
It doesn't cosume anymore
as it is harbored in one chamber of my heart
it is locked away being held at bay
A few years ago I could still smell the decay
of the leftover pain
that just would not go away
now like slivers it runs underneath my skin
it is no longer in front of me
It is finally all within
6 years and a lifetime ago
my life changed forever
I would never be the same
my mind heart and soul
had a new body to embrace
leaving my old body
entering a new place
I was born again
with God's grace
I had to learn to live
knowing what had been done
knowing the scars
were also writing etched on my skin
to resemble the pain now held within
There is a curving scar on my back
reminding me of the hard journey
the twists and turns I had to make
It was never easy
my own tears could fill a lake
I prayed I could survive
not knowing what it was
I had to survive for
For God sake the pain alone was killing me
yet here I am today
6 years and a life time ago
it is slowly drifting away
I can lose myself watching with tears in my eyes
as the movie continues to still play in my mind
though it is 6 years and a lifetime ago
I will never be totally blind



Written Nov. 10th 02
in rememberance of my rebirth
Nov 10th 1997  Chrissy M. Pierce

1997. That was the year that I began my journey towards who i have become. i was diagnosed with kidney failure in Dec, 1997. On the 15th, my birthday. I was on dialysis for two years. I went through several operations on my arms for artificial grafts that often failed. In the years since then, I watched as my Mom lost one of her legs to diabetes; I saw my Father suffer a minro stroke; and I spent many days in and out of the hospital. Through it all, I learned how to care again. I grew up, finally. I have become a better person because of the things I went through. I learned patience; and i learned how to love. My journey isn't complete. I'm still learning. But I have found someone who is helping me learn how to share my love with the World. That's you, Chrissy. You are continually teaching me how to love. I don't know where my journey will lead me. But I know that somehow, you will be there with me.

James