not everyone can deal with pain or those around them suffering with it~ I've posted this one elsewhere and thought I'd share it here, with you. I have a feeling that you'll understand it, been there, done that~

“How Can You Possibly Understand�
Ron Kinard © 2002

breathing your last breath
how can someone understand
feeling like death
when your feelings are out of hand

racked with pain
you don’t want to lie
intense, insane
about to break down and cry

do you want the list
do you really give a durn
tell me now, do you insist
are you asking out of concern

should I explain
are you just being nice
will it just be in vain
do you want some advice

not letting it show
this pain is my own
otherwise you’d know
it stays inside, not shown

are you asking out of guilt
no need to share
shivering under this quilt
you aren’t really there

shaking from the pain
if only I could share
so intense, almost insane
then maybe you’d care

knowing you won’t heal
no idea what I’m going through
just how would you feel
what do you think you would do

an addiction to a drug
because of a chronic disease
allergic reaction, crawling bug
take it all, if you please

a catnap during the day
sleepless night, walking the floor
I’m worthless, so you say
I can’t do any more

unplugging the phone
not complaining at all
please leave me alone
no need for a call

in your life I have no part
you are selfish and vain
where is your heart
all you do is complain

it’s really so sad
I can’t do my job
this condition makes me mad
you think I’m a slob

nothing to be seen
no need to stare
why are you so mean
why don’t you care

keeping it to myself
my feelings in a jar
bottled up on the shelf
I can’t drive the car

there is no relief
I’d rather be alone
every movement causes grief
it hurts to the bone

it hurts to move
no need to talk
you’re still here
go on, take a walk

biting my tongue
not saying a word
the feeling of pain
should never be heard

totally racked with pain
so much despair
so intense, so insane
I know you don’t care

my pain and suffering
it causes you grief
the drugs, only buffering
rest, partial relief

so unbearable this pain
completely out of hand
I know it’s a strain, but
how could you possibly understand

Hey Ron,

Welcome to mindbrain I am sure you will find it warm and friendly here I believe I remeber reading this at voices net! If I am not mistaken! This is a very powerful piece and shows alot of instense feelings of how we can live in pain and yet people see us as hollow as people who can not hurt can not cry can not feel the unspeakable pain of which you express and of which I felt and am feeling right now I do understand my friend! with empathy not sympathy and with compassion not pity! Thank you for posting! It take a person to feel instense pain themselves in order to undertand trully understand what is is like to be in pain. and those people are rarities I am sure you will find many of those "rarities" here!
                                                             Love always,
                                                                 Chrissy

hey Chrissy,

I hope I wasn't out of place coming right in and posting this? I'm new here too, and yes I believe you read this there at voicesnet. I wasn't sure how many members were reading both sights, but wanted to share this with the ones not at voicesnet.

it takes a stronger person to deal with pain, than one who never has to live with it. someone who bellyaches over a splinter or a cold could never handle the intensity of 24/7 "chronic" pain. mine is from arthritis and I know there are others who suffer a lot more than myself. I've weaned myself off oxycontin (which was really hard to do) and only take aspirin and ibuprophen now. I still hurt, but have been forcing myself to do more and more. yesterday I was helping my business partner deck his garage roof. I'm suffering for it this morning, but after a few aspirin and another cup of coffee I'm going back outside and force myself to make it through another day, of course that is with Gods help

anyway, it's great seeing you here and thank you for the warm welcome and the support! much love my friend and God bless!

Ron,
No no Don't ever feel like you were posting out of place I am glad you posted here and wanted to share this again! I really enjoyed it and you are right those who deal with a cold and do not have to live with pain 24/7 as you and I are lucky but yet do not gain the stregth that makes a who we are! I was on pain meds on a daily basis I would get to the point where I would take the pain meds just to prevent the horrible pain! I had to wein myself off the pain meds too! I had to learn to cope with the pain without reaching out to noproxin and tylenol with codeine and morphine! I admire your courage to try and wein off the pain meds and try to do things on your own! it is a incredible struggle! I had a surgery spinal disease that lead me to a emergency spinal fusion surgery so I can understand your pain very well with god grace and loving support we can make this battle! God Bless you
                                                               Love,
                                                                Chrissy

I opted out of surgery. I have two pinched nerves that I'm learning to live with. I've heard of too many horror stories with back surgeries, seems like they go well together. I know that there a lot of people that suffer a whole lot more than I do, sometimes I feel lucky that it's not worse than it is. I only wish I could take away their pain so they could get a break. It's no fun hurting all the time, waking up hurting, going to sleep hurting, but the pain actually becomes a part of live, a part I wonder now if I could live without? It's aggravating at times when the pain is intense and someone close makes a snyde (sp?) remark, I almost want to wish it (the pain) off on them if only for a moment. give them a momentary taste of what I endure almost constantly.(is that mean or cruel?) it's sad, they want to be waited on hand and foot (no matter how I feel) and are perfectly capable of doing for themselves, but ask them to do something for you (me, etc) then it is an abomination. sorry, had to vent that. my g/f can be that way at times.
I don't no what to do or say there, maybe find someone who really cares, huh? ~

enuf on that, I didn't mean to go there. I hope this finds you well and happy? me, sore and tired, but thanking God I'm alive. (I know I'm alive, my pain reminds me of that) one thing about it, out pain can be our best friend at times, huh? God bless my friend!

Sorry Ron I missed your post in the shuffle here I am sorry Yes  understand exactly how you feel I deal with Pain 24/7 I am only 23 but at times it feels like I am 80 and I get so mad because people expect the same out of me and the average person who maybe feel minimal to no pain I guess that is why we fit so well here we all know or understand alittle about the other and can have easier understanding and empathy no it is not wrong for you to wish your pain away even on to someone else I have done that but shhhhh don't tell anyone.... : I wouldn't want word to get out on how we are all human and have feelings and emotions and are not perfect. My b/f gets on me sometimes to cuz he can't understand as he never knew what I went through before I menat him I can sit here and tell him but he never witnessed it so I try not to hold it against him for how can you understand something you never felt or saw before I am sorry to hear about your pinched nerves and it was weird how you started talking about back surgeries as I survived one of my own. (A very long story catch me sometime I will explain.) I wish I could take your pain but as you said he becomes so nature to us we wonder what it would be like to live without it or even if we could. I used to wear braces 23/7 when I was finally taken out after 4 years I noticed the diference and I had to adjust my dailly life again to not whering them. and believe it or not it was hard learning that. when you go around being a certain way well you understand me I am sure I hope you find rhis well to my friend thank you for posting God Bless~
LUV..                                                            Chrissy