ok so heres the thing would it piss you off it everytime you gave this one person a compliment (ie i love you shirt, or your hair looks great).... if the person returned with the phrase.. "i like it too" everytime, never a thanks or anything just "I like it too"...??  (this will turn into advice ...i think.... after i hear some answers)

A compliment is a gift, as well as an observation; therefore it seems selfish to me for someone to not be thankful for the gift, nor to express thanks for it.  Even a pro forma "thanks" is at least an acknowledgement of the gift which is the compliment.    

It's a way of downgrading the compliment, of diverting attention. In general, people are not comfortable accepting compliments, because it makes it look like they 'love themselves', or to save the face of another (think of sports interviews - the victor always tries some kind of downgrading device).

Quite simply, the person doesn't know how to react, so they downplay the compliment, or they rebute it.


It's a sociological thing........

Is downplaying the complement really bad or what though???

Downplaying the compliment is "bad" insofar as it makes you feel bad.  As I said before, a compliment is a gift, an act of loving dialogue, and if it is not received in the spirit in which it is given, it hurts our feelings.  That's bad.  People downplay compliments for different reasons, but the effect is largely the same whatever the motivation.  A compliment is an act of dialogue, that is to say that you are giving something, to which you reasonably expect the person you compliment to give you something back.  It is an exchange, it is an act of love.  Some people can't handle compliments because of a poor self-image, while others do not reply in loving dialogue because they feel no love, or they are selfish, or they are so arrogant that they believe the compliment is merely their due, that they are owed the praise of those around them.  But I am focusing on the feelings of the one initiating the dialogue, you, in this case, according to your original question.  When a compliment is not graciously received, what should have been a dialogue becomes a monologue, that is to say, you reached out and were left hanging.  You gave, and the other merely took.  Therefore the loving dialogue failed to take place, and you are left feeling overextended, and rejected.  

I can't see WHAT I could add after your reply! You got it, I even feel like you hve answered some of my unasked(is that a real word?) questions in this reply!

You are the best +Steve!

Love, Dara

I think that downplaying a compliment is not necessarily bad or good - it really depends on what the situation is. In a sports interview, it is not bad as it saves the face of the 'loser', and it isn't a personal arena. However, in personal conversation, this downplaying can be offensive, because as +Steve has said, the compliment is a gift in words.