i know that i probably shuldnt be all dumb about this stuff but i have wanted to kil myself becasue of a lot of stuff. i mean maybe i shouldt mention everything becasue whenever i do then people get mean to me. i have tried.. i have scars on my wrists, my arms, my legs even bcuz i didnt want people to see my cuts, i told my best frend about all this stuff all the time.. well the other day she was all and i quote " go ahead and kill yourself and stop moping around about it, thats why no one belive you, you say your going to do it, but you never do, just go ahead and kill yourself, cuz no one will care anyhow" my best feind?! how cna i not belive it. i mean i had always thought that and then my BEST FREND tells me that? what am i suposed to do? do i forgive her? i cant i hate her...... help me please!Roze

First, let me just tell you how happy I am that you have come to be a part of us.  Let us become a part of you!  I believe you have already, whether you realized it or not at the time you did it, done something which is going to make your life better by coming here.  It may seem like a small thing, but it's not.  Here we have a group of caring people, sensitive and empathic people with whom you can share.  Poems, feelings, thoughts, emotions, ideas.  We have several members who have felt suicidal, and have hurt themselves, overdosed, despaired.  I myself intentionally overdosed on Valium only two and a half months ago; a dear friend of mine overdosed just days ago.  We both lived, and we're so glad we did, because of each other, and our other friends, here and elsewhere.  But now here you are, among friends.  They are friends you don't know yet, but they are friends just the same, even though they are in the near future.  Let friendship begin even now, in this moment!  Let me be the first: I'm +Steve.  You can read my poems here on the site if you want to, and I'd love to read what you have to say, poems, prose, whatever's on your mind.  My sister Dara is here too, as Moderator of several fora; I highly recommend her to you as a faithful friend.  Human relationships--even in cyberspace--is where the solution is to be found.  Our suicidal impulse has its root and origin in existential lonelieness, the pain and isolation of existence.  The only solution to this is what I like to call human propinquity: contact with others.  We all have this impulse down deep inside somewhere, if we feel alone enough, if we feel like nobody cares.  So we need to find people who will care.  You have just found about a hundred people who care!  I'm just the first; there will be more.  The great thing about the Internet is that we can reach out all over the world and find friends.  I am in love with a woman in Germany, and I have friends all over the world here on this site.  The site is based in Baltimore, and I am in Southern California.  We can find likeminded people a lot easier nowadays using this tool, and distance is no longer an obstacle.  We have to take life one step at a time, and this is a step.  The first step.  You have come to a supportive community, and you have already made one friend, me.  +Steve Lance.  Thank you for reaching out; please don't give up.  Give life another chance.  You've never been a member here on this site before; let this be a new context and community for you.  The woman I love, in Germany, taught me something important: DUM SPIRO SPERO.  You know what that means?  Just the same thing, except in Latin, as what my Grandma always used to tell me: Where there is life there is hope.  You have life!  There is hope!  It is better to be alive than to be dead.  Don't you want to see how it ends?  After all you've been through, would you walk out of the movie before you've seen the ending?  Who knows, it might be great!  And it's much more costly than eight or nine bucks at the cinema!  This is everything.  All you have.  Your big chance.  So make yourself at home here among us, and give life a chance.  Where there is life there is hope: DUM SPIRO SPERO.

Hi Roze! Let me please extend the warm welcome from my dear brother, +Steven! You have come to the right place, and I do hope you find the love and acceptance you are seeking.

From one fellow cutter to another, I must tell you that I can relate to how painful it is to hear a friend say, "Go ahead, die", or, "go ahead and kill yourself". It really adds to our feelings of worthlessness. It is like they really don't care, or they are not taking the situation seriously.

I can tell you that here, you can tell us all that you want, and NOBODY will say such mean or hurtful things to you. I too, had to see a counsilor in in HS. I had one who told me to leave his office, as I just sat there and didn't say anything, because I was scared. He told me I was wasting his time...That made me feel even more like a failure. Sometimes adults, friends, family, they just don't know WHAT to say to us, so they say the absolute WORST things!

Please feel fre to write here often. We will always be caring and try very hard to help you in any way. Life is rough at times, sometimes it seems like it isn't even worth living, but we are survivors, we manage to make it to the next day.

Please take care, and write again soon.
All my love, Dara

omg when i read your guy's things i almost started crying... i mean it was really hard not to but i oculdnt becasue i was in school...well lol am in school. i am a T.A. for my brother's class. he is two years younger than me and iits kewl becasue our birthdays are on the same day. lol ok now that i have said all that i will continue to say thank you so very much for saying all that stuff i mean i know i dont have it as bad as a lot of people but even people who have a "prefect" life kill themselves everyday. my mom is one of the people who say i dont have it all that bad and she tries to help she really does but it just dont work i mean i dont like to talk about my probolems and she knows that but that dont stop her from tryiong. gr im sick right now so if i am typing wrong that is pry why. besdies im tired. sorry. lol. i dont mean to be a burden because i like am saying all this stuff bcuz i feel i shouldnt have to tell people my problmens and ui should be able to work them out on my own but i cant anymore. my ione frend who is bisexual told me she is depenent on me. i cant handle that she sacers me. she hits on me. she grabbed my as*!! can we cuss on here? sorry..yea anwyas i just can not handle anyone being dependent on me bcuz i can not even be dependent on myself! i hate myself and i dont even wanna be here!!! seirously!! i mean you guys are nice and i cant belive your counsler said that i mean i would have been like go f*ck yourself and just got up and left and thebn my mom would have had a cow. bcuz i kinda saiod that to a teacher already and she got mad bcuz i dont knoew and once i got ion a fight at school the day she was aplying for a job and all she could say was how i ruyined her chances on getting a job. lol i hate to cry. really hate to cry in front of people. i cant stand dong that part lol. wel i better go bcuz i have to go and do the stuff mr delph needs dun. and my brotehr says hi! love always :-* Roze

You and your brother have the same birthday, two years apart?  Wow, that really IS cool.  Talk about family planning!  Yowza!  When is the date?  Mine's New Year's Eve, and Dara's is April 18th.  We are a free and open site, and you can always feel free to talk about anything you feel like talking about here.  Any topics you want to talk about that we haven't thought of? Just start a new thread; everything's open!  Free speech is a beautiful and increasingly rare thing, and we are and always will be free.    

our birthday is september (ack if i can spell it) 29th. he was sisarien or howver you spell it and it happened. i thought he was mine.. like a present lol.. we are still really close.. thanx.. that sounds kewl.. Roze ps i apreaciate you taking the time to write to me:D

Roze,
Yes, the counsilor did tell me to leave because I was waisting his time! It was all good with me, as I didn't want to be there anyhow! I was very quiet as a kid, even through HS. I never tlaked to ayone about my problems as I was too scared of what my parents would do if they found out. Sooooo, I just kept it all in, which was not good either! But, we do what we have to!

How about that friend who hits on you? ODD...my best friend for 1 years now is gay, and she and I never have any problems like that. Lucky for me, I never had that issue. I would be upset, but she is just teh best! She and I couldn't be closer!

Please write some more!
Love, Dara

um yea we had been frends for a long time but then she told me that she had been bisexual for like four months and iw as so scared i mean she hit on me she grabbed my as* and all this other stuff hey i have to go ill write you alter bye

hi Roze,
and welcome to this forum.  It's nice to have you here.  Can you please explain why it is that you're considering suicide?

thanks,
Shawn

Wow.. This has really touched me in so many ways.  When i entered this forum, I figured i would use it to ge tfeedback on my poetry.  But when i saw this thread,, i felt that i needed to reply to it. When i came into read it, iI was truly touched by the kindness and warm hearts that were showed through the posts.  
    Roze, I can tell you that i have and still am in a position very similar to yours.  Life has been far too much for me to handle on my own lately.  I feel as if there is no stability and I wonder at times if there ever will be.  Stay strong.  If you don't get hte love and support you need from your friends and your family, I can surely tell that you will receive it here.  
    Allow me to introduce myself.. to everyone.  My name is Lexi.  I am 16 (this Saturday) and live in NW Oregon.  I am caring and down-to-earth person.  I love nothing more than to help other people through thier problems.  Please, Roze, or anyone for that matter, do not hesitate to ask me if you need help with anything.  I will set my problems aside to help fellow friends.  And as of now, everyone here is considered a friend of mine.  
    I know the extra stress that is caused from someone using you for their support.  Especially when you have your own problems.  Perhaps you should tell your friend that you have your own problems that you are trying to deal with.  
    As for your best firend.  I don't know that tell ing you to just do it is something that a best friend should say.  Maybe she is scared for you and doesn't know what else to do.  I have had friends run out on me due to my position.  A good friend will stand by you through anything.  Allow me to be one of those friends.


Love, Lexi

good advice, Lexi.  It's a pleasure having you here.  And happy 16th birthday.

;D i wanna thank you so much.. seriously i mean it may sound stupid but it reallly feels like you  guys care about me. im not really used to having people care about me.. and about telling you why i wanna die well lol. i can make it short becasue im sure you guys have better things to do then sit and listen to sum teenage chick whine lol.. well my dad left. i was like two. then we saw him again .. then he left again and said it was better for us. well then we got a step dad. he hated me to put it nicley. i treid to make him like me but he didnt. he didnt abuse me physcially or sexually but every other way he could think of he did it. the worst he ever did as hit me with a shoe.. in a mall. i think lol.. well yea and i mean a lot of other stuff happened and bascially my best frend told me to kil msyelf bcuz no one would care if i did. and guys just yea lol.. well i have to go.. sorry Roze

ok you asked what was wrong and now i am having time to say what is rong and i am having a bad day and so i just feel like i need to vent and so if you all dont wanna answer this its aight wit me.... GOD FUCIN DAMNIT i cant belive the wasy sum ppl aft i mean sierously all being stupid and saying shit when they dont even know wat the hell is up? i mean come on whenever ppl tell you sumthing secret your suposed to keep it a secret not go and blad to everyone specially if it is as big as this one!! fucin a!! and i hate it whenever ppl tease me about not having dad i mean god damn its not like their dad is much better he just chose to stick around bcuz he actually oved the,.. wat scares me also is that iom, not sure if this guy likes me or not! i'd  >:( be like hella surprised if he does bcuz i mean look at me but see the thing is that he calls me everynight and we talk for at least 45 minutes andon weekends at least two hours! hoily shit and he calls all the time and he said i am speacil bcuz he made this thing in his meail for me.. i mean he soudns so sweet. and when i started crying on teh fone he asked me what was rong for like half hour and finally i got hios to shut up and leave me alone about it bcuz i just kept saying iw as thinkgin about stuff which was true iw as thinking about kiling myself..??? one of my counsleres (yes i have more than one i need it) was saying how people would care if i died and if i didnt belve her to ask around.. well i wanted to ask him but i was to frieken scared that he would say no i wouldnt give a shit.. wihcih is basically what cim did. when i gave him head and he banged me and we made out and did almost everything but sex ( becasue he SAID!!! he lvoed me) well he aint looked at me since and said that we cant talk inm public. and what about my bf.. well ex now he dumped me.. after like almost six months, bcuz we alsmot screwed at a church camp(a CHURCH camp mind you) and the next day he dumped me.. i dont know what it is but ppl are abanbiding me all over like my frend who told me to kill myself bcuz no onw owuld care.... i am beginnginto think that that is true..... ok i just needed to vent and i feel SO much beter you dont even no.. you dont have to answer this or anything.. but.. well im sorry Roze

I am glad you wrote al that out, and that it helped you feel better. Yes, at times it can seem that nobody cares. PLease try to think about us here, I HONESTLY care about you, I KNOW _Steven cares about you as well. We really are a family here, so if yuo ask US, YES, we do care, and we would be terribly sad if you were to kill yourself. Please don't thinkthat is hard to believe, because it is true. Somehow, we have all found eachother here on this wonderful site that is set up by Shawn! Somehow, many people with big hearts, lots of care for others and a need to be cared about in return, have all gathered here. We love and need you very much to remain a part of our family here. Your posts really help me and others by talking with you, by facing some of our own struggles through yours. Please  know that your posts are more than welcome!

I know when +Steven wakes up from his MUCH needed sleep, he will respond to you as well. He does a MUCH better job than I do, but I try!

Take care, and know that here you are very important!

Love, Dara

Hey kiddo!  I am now officially awake!  I have a sleep disturbance, as part of my whole depression/anxiety thing, such that I've just been taking short naps on my couch for a couple of months, and never really going to bed.  So, in the wee small hours of this morning, I decided to take a couple Valiums and just go to bed, and sleep as long as possible.  And I did!  I was very pleasantly awakened by my daughter Maria, who had come to visit me because--get this--my ex-wife, Maria's mother, had a dream last night that I had died.  And she was actually sad about it!  So my kids and my ex-wife all thought I might well be dead.  Well, Maria came and woke me up, we had a wonderful visit and a cup of tea, and then I had her take me to the gas station with her so I could pump up the tires on her car, which were almost flat.  I feel needed!  I was able to be useful, and everybody was thinking about what it would be like if I were dead, and they decided that it is better for me to be alive!  My point to you is that it is better that YOU are alive, too.  I know you have been through pain, and that life hurts much of the time, but being alive is always better than being dead.  Because DUM SPIRO SPERO, where there is life there is hope.  I'm so happy that you have found us here, on our free and open site, and that we have found you.  Stay with us!  Don't give up!  I could tell you stuff about my life that would absolutely curl your hair!  Yowza!  You have no idea!  But I'm glad I'm alive.  I didn't even realize that I would be missed so much; even my ex-wife would miss me.  By the way, I grew up without a father too; mine left when I was six months old.  I was pretty much raised by my Grandma.  I just want youi to know that I am here, and I care about you, and that my sister Dara is here, and she cares about you too.  And there are lots more of us too!  You have found us, and we have found you, and you are no longer alone, OK?  Know that.  We have life.  We have hope.  Let's continue to reach out to one another, to live all we can and love all we can, because this life--such as it is--is all we've got.  So let's make it one Hell of a ride!

im really sorry.. im all going on about all the shit taht is wrong in my life and im not even thinin that you guys have problems (not like mental ) too! im so happy about ur daughter! omg thas so sweet!!!! see would care.. no one here has said they would..so...i dont know.. Roze

Yes, our dearest +Steven KNOWS that we all love him, and would severely miss him if he were not here. But we know he isn't going anywhere! ;D

What would we do without him???

i dont know.. well actually i would be a hell of a lot worse lol bcuz he helped me ( you have tooo) ya no? lol just beign able to talk on this thing helpess Roze

ok i know that i just barley wrote but i dint really have time to explain everyitnhg bcuz i was on the computer at school and the bell was ringing and so i didnt get to say what i was going to say.. well see the thing is.. i realy like you guys.. as frends lol bcuz yall are somone i can talk to without you knowing me.. lol.. yea bcuz i hate it when i am trying to talk to someone and they are looking me in the face andi hate whenever they can see me.. ya no? bcuz over this thing yall dont know if i cry or not..lol.. yea welll anyhow. my dad called me and he said that h might be able tocome down during our spring break... im happy about it seriously i am.but im scared bcuz he is engaged.. and i jus found out i have another little sister named angel.. she is two almost three now.. well see whenever he gets marrried again he makes up sum exucse to start drinking and when he drinks then he says he shuoldnt be around us.. bcuz that is what happened when he first left.. yea no? well yea im all scared.. and when i was on the phone with jason( the guy i like) it was that same day my dad had called.. i started crying lol omg i didntevenmean to i really didnt weant to but he was away doing something for his mom and i figured that by the time he got back i would be done and be ok.. well i wasnt..lol he spent at leats a half hour trying to get me to tell him what was wrong.. finnally i got him to stop asking me bcuz i dont know how i did it. but yea no.. and the other day i was talking to him and i was all cim needs to die.. he is dumb (ill tell you about him later) and he was al ok.. and i was al well other ppl need to die too and he was all like who and i was all like well.. ME and he was like..NO you dont.. ima die before you.. lol it was so sweet and i cant even belive i said that stupid thing in the first place.. i mean seriously.. i wish i had kept my mouth shut.. bcuz yesterday.. wel last night i got on and wrote him an e-mail (he told me to write him one bcuz we had to get off the fone) and i asked him if he would care ifi died.. he hasnt answered me yet but i didnt tihnk he would till tonite.. god im scared.. what if he says no.. ya no?? and the reason i want cim to die is becasue i gave him head and he banged me and we made out and all this other shit happened and now he wont even look at me.. seriously how am i suposed to feel??? i feel so stupid and i dont even want to look at him anymore! well ok lol im done being stupid and whingin today.. for now lol!!! ;D;D well on my profile thingy i have a website (i made it last nite!!!) an it has a picture of me on it..lol but its like two years old.. you can look if you want.. but be prepared im ugly!!! Roze :P

Hey Rose I would like to welcome you here too! Reading your post has made me sad as well! You are a valuable special and beautiful person!! I don't know you that well but I can already tell i would love to be your friend! and help you in anyway I can! Dar and Steve are two of thje most beautiful people I know and the best part is this site is mad up of wonderful carring and compassionate people who understand first-hand what it is like to hurt and feel pain and to deal with horrific events in there lives I am so very glad you found us here! We are one big happy famiky here and now you have joined this family and you will find so many people can understand how you feel with life! I recently wrote a poem called Better off Forgotten in the poetry section here! You are not alone my dear  many of us have felt depressed or saddened beyond believe and many of us have been in a world lacking hope compassion and love things that are in abundance here! I have felt depressed I grew up in a dysfunction home and I have been suicidal many times having thoughts of wishing I was dead I would write all the time. My emotions were words on paper screaming off the white papers to be heard! I tried to commit suicide to by overdosing on pain medication or prescription meds! I have turned to food as a way to escape the trememdous pain I feel inside from time to time. My writing was very theraupitic for me. It helped me through very tough times. I can not beleive your counselor would say the things that he did or that your best friend would say such a horrible thing!It is so hard for others to undewrstand but that is still mo excuse.....People are sometimes iggnorant dear towards things they don't understand! This is harsh but I have found it to be true it is easier for some to remain iggnorant than to try and understand! I have been through many struggles like so many here and these struggles though horrible have taugh me some important things about life and the human spirit the willingness to be warm and compassionate. Soema re not that lucky! we are all survivors here we all have wounds and scars so deep and we all are friends Friends are those there when the world goes out those there when it rains problems on us they are the one there who don't abandon us! You have found and abundace of loving souls here reach out and you will be rescued. You will be heard and you will be loved and understood. I am so glad you are here Rose I am so glad to have the opportunity to get to know you and offer my love compassion understanding a friendship.

STAY STRONG                                      Love always,
                                                         Chrissy

Keep venting it DOES help we all help each other here

life problems no matter how big or small are never dumb

thank you..seriously lol.. um roachman that guy told me you were a great perosn to talk to ... thanx Roze

Never be afraid to cry
crying releases the painful wounds dying inside our bodies by crying one is able to cleanse his or her soul
crying is a wayt o finally begin the process of letting go of the hurt
to begin the painstaking healin process
crying is a way to know we are all humans
it is breaking and destroying the masks we wear to hide who we really are or what we really feel!
Tears wash away the impurities that linger in our souls
pain is devasting without tears nothing could ever wash it away
Rembert his when you are afraid to cry it is when we cry that we are at the mercy of God and we are telling the world pain will not rule our exsistance.

KEEP THE FAITH
AND LET YOUR TEARS FALL GENTLY AND SAFELY HERE!
                                                             Love always,
                                                     Chrissy

Thanks Rose Roachman is great himself as you are too! Yes I am a cool person to talk to! so what does Roachamn say about me now see he is in love with me and I care about him alot too but there are issues that always have to complicate things and you know how that is and NEVER EVER say you are ugly again! Love yourself! Be proud of who you are! GOD does not make ugly or stupid people He don't make trash all of us have a purpose in this life to fullfil some of us are still trying to figure out what that may be but don't EVER put yourself down! Gove yourself more credit never lose yourself and the important of you being you and loving who you are!! Good luck with your guy friend! Let me tell you alot of guys have problems expressing how they feel maybe your friend doesn't know how to react around you most likely he is feeling alot of passionate things fro you and for some guys emotions kick them for one hell of a loop most of the time they come around and for some they are always in tune with their inner beauty of emotions and feelings! Sounds like the perfect guy Yep Yep as if many of them exsist. lol
                                                             Hugs,
                                                            Chrissy
                     

ya that is what he tells me lol.. well i can talk later but not really now. Roze

:-[ok sorry bout that last one.. :omy frend was here and i didnt want to go into any of this shit.. lol but anywho i am soooooo fuckin pissed!!! not for any reason but i mean i am just feeling really bad latley!!!! GRRR.. ok i just need to vent!!! latley like the last week i have been wanting to cry over every little thing! and i cant stop myself when i want to!! i really try to.. like tonite when my brother's coach (he won his game!!!!!))yelled at me for talking to him damnit i almost started crying i mean i hate it qwhen i start to cry bcuz i dont do that! that is why alot of ppl tell me stuff bcuz i dont cry!! well thas ALLLL abuot to change bcuz my best frend(new one kayla) gave head to cim (the guy i did) and he banged her and they mde out and stuff well now he is saying wat all they did.. and she is so sad and depressed and wants to die and shit.. and she wrote him this five page letter that was REALLY personal.. he showed it to everyone..well my other frend needs to talk to both of us!!! ack wat do i do.. ok im don venting now.. thank you Roze

Peta! Hey yeah this dude does sound like a major d*ckhead alot of men are I think it is in there natural but seriously women are not disposable door mats for them to wipe their sh*tty asses all over us. I mean seriously..lol have you meant James he is the sweetest kindest man I know and he is in love with little old me aint that crazy! He is a compassionate tender guy who is intune with his inner feelings and emotions a a trait NOT found in most guys which makes me wonder where have all the good guys gone..lol
                                                             hugs,
                                                           Chrissy

lol yea thanx.. but see todya i get to school and ya no i found out bout my frend kayla yesterday well he told her taht i gave him head and evything but then he is telling evyone else i am lieing about it and like want attention or suthming. and my frend jaymie was all why would be lie about it roze.. and i dont think she belive me and i am having a hella bad day bcuz i had a dream that when i gave jason a note that he got all pissed and hated meand so i am scared taht will happen bcu i gave him a note and then all this shit happened and everyone is beign rude and so i just got up ad walked out of class and now i thnk im in trouble and i have a detetion bcuz i didnt dress down in pe and i had to go to pe with CIM! holy shit i am in a bad fuckin mood i just wanna die i just wanna get over it and i wanna cry i feel liek bawling my god dman eyesout and i cant!!!!!! for the last how ever many days i have felt like i wanna cry but i dont, well now im going to.. GOD i cant stand it.. Roze

ok shit sorry i just have to vent right now im having a real bad day lol you kinda alrady know a lil bit about that but this other guy josh comes upto me and was all cim aint spreading rumors! well wat the hell!!!! i aint syaing he is spreading shit arond im GRGRR he said that we didnt do anything but we did and its making me mad bcuz some of my frernds are being dumb and they belive him not me!!! GRR Roze

It says in the Book of Proverbs, "A word in season, how pleasant it is!"  I have a word in season for you now.  I went to your photo you mentioned to see what you look like, and I think you are very pretty, with beautiful clear blue eyes like those of my own sweet love, my Silke shining in the sky.  

aww lol omg im gonna cry! thas so sweet... it may be alie but its really sweet! ;Dbut yea lol i am having such a bad day bcuz i mean everyone is all beign realys tupid and shit and ic ant andle anymroe of this bcuz i mean.. just grr.. im trying to do this ya no and not cry lol.. well ya see this may sound all trivial but a lil while ago this guy was spreading about sum rumors that me and him had fucked and all this other shit... well he eneed up having to go to jail.. i think he is still in it.. and i feel so bad.. i mean lol i didnt want him to go to jail... ya no?? Roze

lol omg i had the funneist thing.. i was after shcool so i could finish my classes and well lol there was no bus! lol and so we waited in the rain for over an hour and then we had to walk in the rain and the cold for lke half hour to find a fone bcuz the school's fone was broken and wouldnt work and the part taht had a fone taht worked was lockeD!! ;D >:(ack lol it was so horrible!! lol Roze

ok im really sorry and i dont mean to keep bringing this shit up but i mean its lke...hm..i dont want to al make you feel mad bcuz i kep saying all this shit about how "horrible" my life is but i just cant do it anymore.. i i i i i  cant stand beingteased all the time.. andi dont even have a laugh lol  ??? oh god lol im so confused???~~~~~|!!!!~~~~~~~~~

k ya i know i keep coming back to this... but see.. i mnea this shit that is wrong just keeps feedingon it. andi dont know wat to do....well see "someone" got on my msn and wrote on my profile i make love to myself and other gurls, and i give oral sex i like it and im good at it, and a bunch of other stuff including chaning my name to i likeit up the ass.. ok.. now no one beliives me that i didnt rite that shit and when i tried to explain it to someone they got hella pissed at meand blocked me and wot talk to me anymore.... how.. why???? i say "someone" bcuz i think i know who did it bcuz there is only (well was) one person who knew my password and it was ronda..who i got in a fight wit.. member her? god dmn i dont know wat to do... Roze :-*

Sweety, I have a brother who told me the other day he was suicidal. I told his mother because I was worried to death about him. You know what she told me? She told me that suiside is the coward's way out of life. You really shouldn't do something like that. As for your "best friend," she may just be fed up with you talking about something that disturbing. Maybe she was upset that day and was blowing off steam. For all I know she may have been P.M.S.-ing. Which is still no excuse for saying something like that. I don't know what to say about her except to confront her. Tell her, hey so-and-so, why did you say all of that stuff to me the other day? Do you not lie me? Or something to that sort. Have a little woman-to-woman chat. That usually works. Please let me know how everything turns out. Remember there is a reason for everything, and suiside shouldn't even be an option.
mandapanda

thanx lol i bet she was pmsing! she would be.. but see we were fighting alreayd and i had told her everything and i tired of people and th bad thing is that i know what i wanna do is wrong but i cant help i stil wanna do it.. sorry ROoze

ok ok dont mean to bring this to the top again but people realy piss me off i wrote a letter to my freidn all bout this shit that has been going on with me and well somehow Nick got a hold of it and told me! grrrrr why would he tell me its like he dont even care??? i mena not like he has to or anyything but grrrrrr im just tired of eople........ oh yea. my dad got e-mial and so i can talk to him now:))) i am SO hapy thas the only good thangabout my day!! ROoze*