Hi-top
Mar 30, 2003, 03:17 PM
Ok I have a problem
my mom is moving here from missouri
and I figured out her b/f left her
so I have to find a rental home for her
I have to find her a job
and I have to make sure she can walk to her job because she cant drive
I have to do this and I cant screw up
what should I do
+Steven Curtis Lance
Mar 30, 2003, 08:38 PM
Hello Hi-top, my dear friend.  Wow!  That's an awful lot of responsibility, for anyone of any age, but especially for someone so young.  Having taken care of my own mother, all the way to her death,and also my grandmother, I know what it is like; but ordinarily the roles aren't reversed like this until you both are much older than you are now.  Our parents take care of us, then we take care of our parents.  In your case, the time of taking care of your mother has come early.  But there are always times like this in our lives together with our parents, times when we take care of them alternating  with times when they take care of us.  She needs you now, and she's very fortunate to have you. Â
So her boyfriend left her, and she's fragile because of that. Â Do you have to find the home for her before she arrives from Missouri? Â It might be a really good experience for you both, a good shared experience, if you and your mother could look for these things, the home and the job and all that goes with starting a new life in another place, together. Â I think it would be best to do these things together with your mother. Â Honestly, to do it all yourself before she arrives would be to assume a tremendous burden, a burden which might prove overwhelming to one person of any age, and you're still very young. Â It's hard looking for rental houses at any age. Â You could scout around as best you can before she comes, make inquiries, look at a few houses, but I think the best would be to do these things together with your mother. Â In this way the two of you will become very close, building the foundation of your new life together which you will share. Â When she first arrives, you and she could get a motel room together, and make an adventure of it, and then you could go out looking at houses, informed by your research which you will have done before she gets there. Â As for the job situation, you can look around as well, but that is really something she will have to do for herself. Â Be careful not to overload yourself. Â Share the burden with your mother, but don't bear it all on your shoulders. Â I'm glad your mother is coming, and I believe that you two will be able to create a happy life for yourselves. Â It is admirable that you are willing to do all this for her, but the reality of the situation is that you and she will have to do these things together; you can't bear all this alone, nor should you. Â You certainly have all my love, respect, and solidarity, always.
Hi-top
Mar 31, 2003, 09:16 AM
Thanks +Converse
the problem is
my mom cant drive because we were in a car wreck like 3-4 years ago and I broke my arm and she hasnt overcome her fear cuz she still has flashbacks
angelroze
Apr 01, 2003, 08:41 AM
can she take a bus? ROoZE* :-*
Hi-top
Apr 01, 2003, 10:35 AM
i dunno how shes getting here but shes coming