Have you ever had someone in your life that ment so much that they becaome the reason as to why you wrote. Well I did have someone in my life like that and I have lost them they are no longer in my life and probably never will be again. Now I am stuck with all these things to say but with no way for me to say them. The one thing I loved to do I can't do anymore, I just dont have anything to say when I sit down to write. All I want is to be able to write again, If you can help with that it would be great I have tried just about everything...

                                Love ya,
                                Stacy...

First let me say that I am so sorry about your loss.  I am in solidarity with you, having lost everything at least once in this life.  You can still write about the person, because they are still there in your life, in the negative, in the form of pain.  The image is still there, albeit in the negative.  The answer lies in writing about your loss; this is the way to deal with both the loss and the problem of writing.  Let both problems become one in synthesis, and they can and will both be solved together.  Think about this.  Look within your hurt heart and write of what is there.  There is much within you, much which can and will and needs to be written up, down, and out.  I send you all my love, respect, and solidarity always.  We can discuss this further... let me know how you are doing...

    How I am I feeling no offence but how am I suppose to feel? I sure don't feel great I mean just when things were going realy good with someone again, all of a sudden he is no longer there..Almost everything I wrote was because of him it was something I could talk to him about that was just a me and him thing. No one else knows this I like to write, I he was the onlyone I told.. And now that he isn't there it feels like I dont have a reason to and the things I do try to write it doesn't come out the way I want anymore, its just one big mess that doesnt make any sense at all. And not only am I just in pain over loosing him, but I cant tell anyone how much it really does hurt. All I want to do is to crawl in this hole and pretind it didn't happen and when I come out he will be there, but he wont and he never will be agin. So I guess you could say i am feeling pretty crapy, and confused.

                                       Love ya,
                                       Stacy...

Apparently my reply came across as insensitive and irrelevant... I can well understand your taking it that way, but that is not how it was intended.  And, of course, no offense is taken at all.  What I meant was that you can take your feelings and write about them.  His image remains in your heart, albeit in the negative.  I just try to answer questions as best I can, but I realise that my words may seem cold comfort indeed from so far away, through a computer screen.  Please forgive me, and know that I understand.  I have written so many poems about love, both with love and without; love is always there, whether in the negative--as what we might call emotional antimatter--or in the positive.  We can only write of what we know with any conviction; we both know suffering... we could write about it; I have, and so can you.  But best of all we hope for love again.

    I didn't think you were being rude or anything. And I wan't trying to come off as taking it rude, but I just want to be able to understand everything again...I hate feeling the way I do right now it makes me want to hate everyone when i know I shouldn't..

                                Love ya,
                                Stacy...

Ultimately, the only cure for the lack of love is love itself.  We can write about love without love, write of the lack of it, and even if we write well, the pain remains; the harsh reality is that the heart cannot remain empty without terrible suffering.  All I can tell you is that you can write from your heart, now as always; that might well cure what ails your writing, but only love itself will cure what ails your heart.  The bright side: DUM SPIRO SPERO, where there is life, there is hope.  I do understand, I do feel for you; I have suffered terribly and cruelly, but I have learned that there is always another chance, however far away it seems today.  

Stacy,

I am so sorry for your loss. A losso fo love, whatever the love may be, is a terrible pain to live with. Unfortunately, we are unable to crawl under a rock and hide! BELIEVE me, if I could, I would LIVE under a rock, hiding forever and ever, till this painful existance some call life is over. BUT, I cannot, and neither can you!
Having suffered TOO many losses in my life, the only thing I can reccomend is to feel the pain inside of you, try not to deny it because it will only manifest itself in other ways.  Hard as it is, greiving is inevitable to healing. It is not easy, not pleasent at all, and very sad to lose a love. I am sory you are in pain right now. Please know you are not alone. I am here for you, Steven is here for you...you wil be thought of often!

Love,
Dara

PS...let me know if you find a rock big enough for the 2 of us to crawl under, will you?

    Thank you both for your eforts to help! And Steven never doubt your helping people you probably do more good then you think. I know I probably do more good then I think when I help my friends. I love helping people, I am just not good at helping myself. I know it will take time and I know I can't pretind it didn't happen. I only wish that I knew how to deal with it..

                                Love ya,
                                Stacy...

aw hun there aint NOTHING wrong wit you! if that person cant see what a GREAT!!!! girl you are, then dont even worry about it. ok so i cant say that lol bcuz i know its hard.. but im trying to cheer you up.........is it working?? ha ha not yet i can see....srry i laugh when i get sad.. or.. ya know try to help people im not laughingat you.. you are a GREAT person and you dont need anyone.. though i know its hard... if someone writes..its in them! not the other person.. i love you ok? RooZE*

Hello Stacy. I will try to be of some comfort. Please let me be of some comfort to you.
Listen...

There are people that just take flight or have taken flight for whatever reason.
A lot of people hate responsibility for others people's feelings, sometimes because it may effect their own in some way which seemed to be stressy perhaps. There may be other reasons.

I have spent about four years contemplating about this fog of nothingness really, surrounding myself in this blackness, bringing down the shutters kind of thing. No I'm not critisizing you.
It is best to really search within yourself and cram up whatevers left of you. Whatever is slumbering inside.. it needs to get out. Get it out of you. Here are alot of people that can understand you and are of comfort.

When you're helping other people you need to realize that you're helping yourself as well because it sets you contempt to make someone else happy.
Even if this takes a whole load of strength. I am very sure you've got it.
Don't ever give up, never give up.
There are always people here.
I don't have anyone to hold here myself and no one including my family really KNOWS me.
But I find alot of comfort here and sinking into poetry and appreciating and indulging in beauty (including ones own) is a blessing. Everyone has their qualities.
Don't forget them.

I know that you don't really feel like hearing about any qualities you own which you could bring out, or don't really want to but don't blind yourself in confusion. It makes things much, much worse. Let yourself be loved. Let yourself be comforted by the people that DO care.

Only the best,
+Franziska

Such nice words, Franziska! You speak straight from the heart! Having loved and lost too many times, it is also VERY important to acknowledge the pain inside and live it.

Stacy,
It is natural to be sad and feel lost, as long as you can eventually find you way, things will get beter. It may take time to heal, but the mere fact that you wrote here Stacy, that is the begining of the healing process! You have opened up and let us in, and we are here for you, just as Fran siad!

All my love,
Dara

    Well thank you all for sharing what you think. And I thank you lots for trying to help some. I just have to keep my head up and go on with life it will get better day by day I hope.

                               Love ya,
                               Stacy...

Yes it will Stacy and you will be much stronger because of this experience no matter how sad it was there will be some good out of this! You may not see it now but as time passes so will your strength in yourself and your bright future ahead!



Love always,
Chrissy AKA the..
~Angelita~

i agree keep me posted and tell me what happens and stuff ok??? ROoze*

    Well things are still kind of wierd with this, but they are better. I knew things would get better after a while its just for a moment I didn't think they would. I have even gone on a few dates with other guys. Thay arent the same though... I will live though and if he was ment to be we will get back together other wise I guess I cant worry about it to much. Still havent been able to write very much well nothing that was vary good. Not that anything else I did was very good, but they are a lot better then what I am doing now.

                           Love ya,
                           Stacy...

Stacey,
Nothing is wrong with you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know I'm glad I stumbled and found this page. I used to be in a 10 year relationship with my sons father. I would write and write and write ohhhhhhhhh oh love was so good. Then we departed and I couldn't write for almost 3 years I wallowed in my own pit of sorrow. Then one day I just started writing about all the years of hurt and loneless that I went through and I'm told that some of those poems are my best ever!!!
so don't keep those feelings bottled up noone ever said that you have to write poetry only when your in love.
Pick that pen up girl and pour your emotions out of that heart and put them on paper.
Take Care
Your Friend
lots of love
Mary Lee