Hey Steve!

I hope you and Silke are doing well I would like to thank you for being such a warm and kind person for helping so many people here including me! And most of all for offering your love and friendship It means the world to me! I am writing you because I am very confused! I have no idea how love is sopopsed to trully feel my love life goes up and down and I always end up hurt bruised bleeding and used in the end! I love James alot his words are very magical and touching! but it sometimes sounds to good to be true you know??! I have been hurt so many times in the past I guess I amafraid of opening up. I am afraid of feeling the relentless pain again! I don't think I could take another broken heart and then there is the guy I live with I am in love with him too. He is like my best friend but I hold so much inside my passion for love my romantic side my emotional side and with James this all comes to the surface He makes me feel so special but what if I let myself fall again and I fall into the trap of a senseless illussion! I know this is not fair to James cuz I know deep down how much he cares for me and I am afraid to share my scary heartbreaking past the fact that I have an eating disoder that I suffer depression and have so many problems I am scared of being judged I guess and being seen as a burden because that is how it always ends me being alone and having to many problems! I was told by people close to me that they would always be there that they would never leave me and then that is what happens they leave. I mean a guy I knew in school only dated me because he felt sorry for me as soon as his friends found out he dumped me because they didn't want him dating "a hunchback" of course I was devastated that his friends had control over him. The truth came out after my surgery and all I guess I am afraid of that happening again of being called ugly or a spit(negative term for a Puerto Rican) Then there is my weight I struggle with this all the time! I sent Dara a pic and she loved it. but when I showed my ex ex boyfriend my pic he quit talking to me after his proposed to me he left because he said I looked like I was 40 years old when I was only 21 and that I didn't know how to dress. so I ended up hating myself. my greatest fear is of painful judgemental scorn and being hurt all over again. I mean I have so many things James does not know about me and if he knew would he feel the same way! I am sorry I need to go now Please take care I love you always!
                                                          Love me always,
                                                             Chrissy

On my honor as a gentleman, I am willing to commend James to you as a good and kind and honorable man.  He lives with his father, and is a good and loyal and helpful son.  He is like us, in that he also is a disabled individual; he is also like us in that he also is a sensitive and fragile person whose heart has been broken, and who aches for love as we do.  I thank God I have found the love I have longed for all my life in my Silke shining in the sky, my Strahlemaus, my Hasenkind.  But James seeks this, longs for this, finds this... in YOU.  Just as you are.  Don't worry, don't doubt.  Follow your heart wherever it leads, and never look back.  James also is Latino.  He lives just up the freeway from me here in southern Cali.  I am willing to vouch for him and to serve as a witness for him, because we have corresponded and talked, and I know of his great and selfless love for you.  If you want to be honored and repected as you deserve, and treated like the lady which you are, James will not disappoint you.  If he were to hurt you, of course, then I would have to kill him, and he understands this.  Just kidding!  Seriously, he is a good and kind and wise man, a beautiful poet, and I am convinced that he is worthy.  And above all, he loves you.  Believe me, I know something about love, and this man really, truly, sincerely, honestly and unselfishly loves you with all his heart.  If you return his feelings at all, I would ask you to give him a chance to show you what a fine man he is, and how much he loves you.  I believe with all my heart that he would never hurt you.  You know I care about you, and I would never recommend someone to you whom I think is unworthy.  Get to know him, open your heart to him, and I believe it will be a beautiful love story.  It just reminds me so much of Silke and me.  You and Silke are the same age; James and I are both a little older.  Older but wiser for the journey; having suffered, we have learned to love aright, to cherish and to value the beautiful heart and tender feelings of a lady.   I wish you every happiness, and I hope you and James can enjoy the beautiful love story which you both so richly deserve.  God bless you both. +

Chrissy, just follow your heart. Wherever it decides to lead you, just know that I will always be here for you. If you want me to only be a friend to you, then I will accept that; and be the truest friend to you that I can be. As i have said before, when I gave you my heart, is was a permanent gift to you. It will always be yours. Whatever course you decide to take in this life, just know that I love you dearly; and my feelings for you will NEVER change.

James

Chrissy, I know everything I need to know. I love YOU.
Your past, your present, and your future are in my heart; and I love them dearly. My feelings will not change, my heart will not change, and my hopes and dreams about you will not change. I am afraid, too. Afraid of my past and of all the stupid things that I have done. Things that I have been involved in and how they have hurt me and those i have cared for. But they are just that, my past. They are not me now. They are not who I am. You past is just that, your past. I know who you are now, and that is who I love. Do not be afraid to open yourself to me, Chrissy. And i will not be afraid to open myself to you.  Follow your heart. If it leads you to me, then I will embrace you with all my love. If it does not lead you to me, then I will STILL embrace you with all my love.  That is who I am; and that is how much you mean to me. Your happiness is all that I want in this life. I so want to be a part of that happiness. But if that is not to be my destiny, then that is what it must be. Just know that I love you deeply, Chrissy, I kind of think that i did from the moment that you sent me that greeting card.  My heart and my love are yours, Mi Angelita! Please know that it is true. Now and always :'(

James

thank you James!

Your words have once again touched my very heart and soul you have embraced both tenderly with your loving and kind words. I will be sending you an e-mail here soon I hope until then keep holding on to your love and nver let it go follow your heart and embrace the love you have inside it's core for me and be fruitful in it's abundance and glory!! I love you tenderly now and always!
                                                     Love always,
                                                    Chrissy

I have followed my heart. And it has lead me to you.

James

Love is the feeling of time itself stopping when you think of the one who has your heart.

James

I feel as if I am watching a romance in the making! How swet it is!
Go with your heart, Chrissy, it WILL NOT steer you wrong!

Love, Dara

Chrissy,
Take your time
Find your path to happiness.
I'll be here waiting for you. :'(