Here's to making a long story short, I have been seeing a guy for almost 3 months now. And I must admit I fall in love so fast, but he is married. I knew this from the start but only thought this was just something more or less like a fling. He tells me that he is in love with me. And I know this sounds crazy but i beleive him. Am i wrong to feel this way? Am i wrong to waste my time? Help me.....  

Hmm.....maybe he does love you maybe he doesn't.
The fact remains that he pledged his love to someone else first. If he can't decide WHO he loves then maybe he just doesn't deserve ANY love at this point in time.

If this can happen to his wife, then it can happen to you.  Understand that you are in part to blame for the misery that his wife will experience.  I think it is extremely selfish and disrespectful to treat other people that way, but now that you are in love and there are no easy answers.

Well, what is love?  If you refer to the transient emotional/biological responses in your brains, I'm sure that you both are in love.  If you refer to the enduring commitment of respect and compassion that is unafraid of self-sacrifice, I think that you will find that neither of you are in love, perhaps neither of you have ever been in love in this sense.

The question you have to ask is what do you want.  Do you want pleasure or happiness?  Promoting whatever makes you feel good right now will certainly give you pleasure, but I suspect that you will always have the haunting sense of misery as you move from one pleasure to the next.  If you want happiness, you will only find that in developing meaningful relationships based on respect and mutual acceptance.  This choice involves a lot of hard decisions, many of which are unpleasant, but in the end you will have actually built something worth keeping and have more than the memory of some fading pleasure.

Take it or leave it, my advice is to get out of the relationship as fast as you can, and reevaluate your priorities and values.

I think it is wrong becasue he has a wife, does she have any kids? How do you tihnk she is going to feel when she finds out that he has been sleeping with another women? I dont know how old you are, but for one thing you shouldnt sleep with him... Maybe ur not and your just like talking and kissing and doing a lot of foreplay but it'ss sitll worng, and it still cheating. how owuld you feel if you found out that YOUR husband was cheating on you? Maybe he really does love you, and if he does than he needs to make up his mind, and either divorce his wife and mary you, or leave you. You ned to tell him to make up his mind, or you will nevver feel better. Sorry, but thas how if eel, you can take my advice or leave it. its up to you. but i personally.. would do something

What's important is how you feel about this subject...

Do you really love him? (In that sense where you really can't let go anymore) Do you need him? Does he need you?

If you're asking if what you're feeling and thinking is wrong or not you're not really sure and aware of what situation you're really stuck in,

I'd say, if you really like the guy considering the long run..... you wouldn't get into too much trouble, he on the other hand, if caught, would probably be in alot of shit, and perhaps the conflict between his wife and him would lead to the end of your connection.

If you're future is important to you, and if you're feelings aren't really all that stable it's very important to be clear on your thoughts..... and what you're going to do....

I myself would stay away from people that are married, because they've already got some woman at home.... and that would bother me, and would make me feel inadequate, and would probably make the relationship seem uninteresting.

I'd be very careful and thoughtful, if you are really an emotional person, you're playing with fire there...

Are you prepared to spend only 1 night every 2 years with him? Think about, this happened to someone!

this is a tough sitaution to be in! I feel for you I really do! but the thing of this is that he may not really be in love with you but mayne he is not getting love and affection at home but he finds he can find that with you....but is this really love or is he just using you to fullfill his dying needs?! I really don't know but it is something to think about! I was with a guy for almost three years yet I am was so lonely I searched everywhere I could to find the piece of me that I felt was missing and in the end I lost my b/f who was abusive anyways but thought he was mean to me he was all I had at the time and then I opened my heart to someone else and was raped in the end because I was so needy for love I through myself at it's mercy so I know this can happen where you feel something is missing and you search elsewhere to find it! I know it may be wrong but life is weird sometimes! You need to find out search within your heart to find what would make you happy not just surface happy but soul happy way out the pros and cons..do some thinking! Yes he has pleged his love to someone else before he did you and it could be a very messy situation for all involved but you can't help when you fall in love because sometimes emotions take over but you need to know the difference also about just love and lust and find out what you have for him and what he has for you! Good Luck in whatever you decide! I am here if you need a friend!

Love yas,
Chrissy

oh and please remember noone can tell us that how we are feeling is either right or wrong unless they feel the exact same way we feel so to say that feeling the way you do may be wrong is not necessarily accurate! Does it feel wrong to you don't let outside sources cloud your own personal judgement but please also take this advice as just some people trying to help you!

Love yas,
Chrissy

Just remember - once a cheater, always a cheater.  I read somewhere that over 85% of married men having affairs ultimately stay with their wives. Do you want the stress, the agony, the heartache?  Hindsite is ALWAYS 20/20, and when I look back at some of the things I did when I was younger, I shudder. .  

Randi

QUOTE

Here's to making a long story short, I have been seeing a guy for almost 3 months now. And I must admit I fall in love so fast, but he is married.   I knew this from the start but only thought this was just something more or less like a fling.

Well, here is the obvious question- why on earth did you get yourself involved with someone who is already married?  Married= not available for a fling or anything else.

QUOTE

Am i wrong to feel this way? Am i wrong to waste my time?

Yes, you are wrong to feel this way and yes you are wasting your time.

Let's be realistic here- best case scenario (for you anyway) is that he leaves his wife and marries you.  Can you live with the guilt of destroying a marriage?  Are there children involved?  Can you live with knowing they will hate you for taking away their father and that the rest of his family will look down on you and see you as a homewrecker (and they *will* see it that way.  It's not like he met you afterwards)?  

Let's say his wife is an awful person and you *can* live with yourself after this.  Can you ever really trust him?  How long is it until another woman comes along and his eye wanders?  How long until he leaves you for the new woman?  Can you live with that uncertainty for the rest of your life?  

Don't get me wrong, he is a dog.  There is no excuse for him & he bears more blame than you do since he is the one who made a promise to his wife he undoubtedly had no intentions of keeping and has probably broken more than this one time.  I just think you should really stop and think about all the ramifications of pursuing this relationship before you (continue to) do so.

Good luck.  

Yes Tab, I agree that someone who gets involved with a married person is just as guilty of adultery as the one who is married, and both should be looked down upon.

i think its a very bad idea, he is married.. yes he might be telling you he's married, but imagine if you get with him.. your ruining a marrage and then you never know he might cheat on you too. after all thats basicly what he's doing right now. he had a wife..