( Sorry, i'm holding my daughter so my writing is all off)

I wrote a story in gradeschool called the priest who couldn't tell.

It was about a guy who murdered some of his class mates for various reasons, leaving the police stumped.

At the end ur obvisouly not suposed to know who the killer is.

He then tells the priest, confesses and basically gets away with it, bcuz a preist cant reveal anything confessed.

What I wanna kno, is it worth revamping into a short novel or book or watever..?

I liked the story and thoght it was worthwhile, who know's ruight?

But I thought i'd ask ya'll...

It sounds like a rehashed story. I'm not saying you're plagerizing, but I just think it's a subject already touched on by many before. So, I guess it all depends on what your expectations are with this story. But don't let me discourage from going for it if you feel strongly about it. Wait for more opinions by all means! Good luck!

No lol really thanx.

I just remember being so excited when I first wrote it back in grade school.

And then my mom just found it yesertday and i'm like "Wow that could be cool if I rewrote it!!"

But Then I started and idk, Idk if I can ever be as good as books i've read.

So I got discouraged.

And I decided before Iw ent furthur I would put it up to ya'll.

Would it even be worth it?

Hell I've never wirtten this kind of book or story before, I dont even know how to go about doing it!

Just do it.

Don't worry about being slick or professional at first. Writing improves with practice. Doing it causes you to become better at it.

Lol I was thinking..

Again..

That with what I have so far, it might be better if I worte it as a play, or "Movie"

Doubtful it would get that far but.. Idk here's what I have.

It's like one paragraph.

And it isn't that good.

So I want critism but... Constuctive, not mean ok?? Please?????

My name is Brad Johnson and I go to school at Washington University. I’m the first of my family to attend college, so being here is a big responsibility. Especially for a guy like me. I got drafted for college through a sports scholarship; basketball. I’m your typical all-American dumb jock. I know the cliché is tired and insulting, but that’s what I am. A dumb jock. I stand 6 foot 3 and weigh in at 200 pounds of sinewy muscle. I used to run cross country in high school, so I developed muscle. But not that cheap ugly kind that guys get from spending hours in the gym. Mine is more lean, but pronounced. Don’t get me wrong, I do spend hours in the gym, it’s just not lifting weights. It’s practicing my shot. If I want to stay here at the WU I’ve got to be the best I can, and then some. See, my grades aren’t so hot. But coach Dickens is a friend of the dean, Mr. Marks, whose friends with the head of the university, Ms. Williams, so he pulls some strings. I think he’s got something on them. Like; they run a drug cartel out of the school, and the school’s just a front. Or maybe they specialize in pornography, which isn’t illegal but immoral, and they recruit naive, innocent coeds to star in the films. At least that’s what I imagine, because it would be so awesome! But, alas, friendship is the only motivation. My girlfriend, Krystal Moore says my honey brown hair is like a beehive. Pretty to look at, but harmful to touch. Oh well, everybody has some flaw right? My eyes are simply brown. Not chocolate, not coffee, tan or russet. Merely brown.




Anyhow, he's gonna end up being the killer...

Good start. You need to break it up into smaller paragraphs. For example, where you transition from talking about Brad to the corruption at the university, would be a good place to start a new paragraph. Use a block style: two carriage returns between paragraphs.

Thank you. I have all sorts of problems with that!! I used to get CAPPED AT all the time for posting like that.

All together and rambling!

Writers, well, most of them, anyway, say that the most important part of writing is rewriting. You can go back and edit what you've written. That's the wonderful thing about computers and word processors.

Some old fashioned writers say that computers have ruined writing, and they won't use anything but pencil and paper. They say having to get it right the first time makes them think harder and better. I disagree. A word processor lets you write rapidly, not caring about small mistakes, because you can go back and fix them easily.

Thats what I love about computers! I just let myself free type and go back later on and reread it!

Rick is right. You can get away with at least a whole chapter worth of writting if you break down all these ideas you put here. I do like your narrative in first person. You seem to be talented at trascending personal emotions. You should explore that area of your writting.

Take into consideration the fact that 99% of the literature in the world was written with pencil and paper and under at the light of a candle. We have yet to know the true benefits of modern technology to human inspiration in literature. I know of many charlattans who call themselves writers without having the slightest idea of what it's like to have the honor of knowing the craft; Just because they can type 100 words per minute.

Angelroze, you write:
How sure are you that what you say is so? Are priests really immune from having to reveal what is confessed to them? In all jurisdictions?

Check this out, before you write more on this.

I was actually wondering abuot that. I remember watching a show on TV ( I know, not always true !!) about a priest who couln't tell but pointed in the right direction.

I don't know where I would actually look to see that. I mean, it's religion-wise, and I think it has more to do with that priests ethics then any actual law.

I mean the religion law is that you can't,. but if he really wanted to a priest would tell anyway..

Right?

Jack Kerouac wrote On the Road on a typewriter. He used speed (amphetamine sulphate, trade name benzedrine) and liked to write for many hours at a stretch. To avoid having to interrupt himself to feed in sheets of paper, he typed on a long scroll. His work was much acclaimed, but one critic said "that isn't writing, that's typing."

In California, lawyers, doctors, and psychiatrists have client confidentiality by law. However, if a professional believes that his client is about to commit a serious crime, he must report it. I don't know the law concerning priests.

Perhaps the wise thing to do is: When in doubt, check it out: I would. It is part of what I call the all-important "pneumatological" or "spiritual" factor.

Looks fine, the first draft is just that, you can make edits, improvements etc. as you go on. The most important thing is to just get down your central ideas.

Anyways, good start, now go finish it.