Try and numb the pain as best as I can
Trying to pull myself back from the grazes on my legs
Seeing my whole life flash before my eyes, it's like watching a film that never ends
Do I have to listen to everything she says?

The blood rushing to my head
I can't feel a thing
This could be the thing that makes me feel alive instead

Mixing eight different poisons,
to shed what's within
Feel my skin
Discintegrate my mind and hopefully it'll all go away

Cutting doesn't work
I can't get my hands on drugs
Alcohol doesn't make me hurt
But it scorns my insides, and destroys my lungs

Everything is wonky, is this really the illusion?
Maybe this is real life
It doesn't feel like this exclusion
From reality is making me feel right
The taste of vomit never washes away
The night's always black
That's all I'd normally say
And when the knife stabs you in the back

No alcohol can ever recover that
I see my future, it's not very pretty
Now all I know is that there's no turning back
The blood rushing to my head, all I want is reality to hit me

And when the blood pours and dries
There's a voice that always cries
As well as the ringing in my ears
I guess it's time to use those shears

I can't walk now, my vision is fading away
And like a disease in my own creation,
I won't be alive to stay
And I just love the hallucinations

The feeling of the high,
that never goes away
The dryness in my mouth,
My vomit just went down the sink going south
Hopefully it will never end.

I like this painful illusion.