The Authentic Self
A Mysterious Compulsion to Evolve

When time began, for an unknown reason, something came from nothing. Suddenly, an impulse emerged—the impulse to become, to create, to evolve. One could call it the God impulse. This urge to take form gradually became the whole universe, eventually including you and me as we are right now.

As human beings we experience this evolutionary impulse on many levels. At the gross physical level, we feel it as the sexual impulse, the powerful urge to procreate. At a higher level, the cognitive level, we experience this same principle as the uniquely human desire to know, to understand, to create. And at the highest level, the level of consciousness, we experience it as the spiritual impulse, the mysterious urge to evolve as consciousness itself. This urge to evolve is what I call the authentic self. The movement of the authentic self in each and every one of us is not other than the one evolutionary impulse that is driving the engine of creation. When you feel the irresistible compulsion to develop at the level of consciousness, you are experiencing in your own soul the same impulse that initiated the big bang.

In those moments when the creative impulse manifests itself at the biological level as sexual desire, the outcome is always predetermined. But when that same impulse expresses itself at the highest level, the level of consciousness, the outcome is not predetermined. That is why, for human beings who are awakening to the authentic self, being alive is suddenly recognised to be such a deep and profoundly creative experience. Through us, the same impulse that initiated the entire evolutionary process is becoming aware of itself and awakening to its own deepest desire, which is to become conscious. If we intentionally engage in this process at the highest level, we will find that we are literally creating the future. If you have the courage to let this in, you will recognize the true meaning of your aspiration to evolve. You will begin to see the precious significance of even the barest murmurings of your own struggle to become conscious.



The Ego
An Anti-Evolutionary Force

There is a profound contrast between the enlightened perspective, which is the absolute, universal, and impersonal view of the Authentic Self, and the unenlightened perspective, which is the relative, separate, and personal view of the narcissistic ego. It is literally the difference between heaven and hell.

When I speak about ego, I am not using the term in the psychological sense, which usually refers to what we could call a self-organizing function in the psyche. In an enlightenment context, the word ego refers to something else altogether. Ego is the deeply ingrained, compulsive need to remain separate and superior at all times, in all places, under all circumstances. In contrast to the inherent freedom of the Self Absolute and the fearless passion of the Authentic Self, ego is experienced as an emotional quagmire of fear and attachment. It is the part of you that has no interest whatsoever in freedom, feels victimized by life, avoids anything that contradicts its self-image, is thoroughly invested in its personal fears and desires, and lives only for itself. Ego is an anti-evolutionary force of powerful inertia in human nature—attached to the past, terrified of change, and seeking only to preserve the status quo.

Ego is the one and only one obstacle to enlightenment. If we want to be free, if we want to be enlightened, we have to pay the price. The great wisdom traditions have always told us that the price is ego death, and in evolutionary enlightenment it is no different: if the Authentic Self is going to act through us as the uninhibited expression of evolution in action, then our attachment to ego must be transcended.

I find that all very hard to argue with, but I'm sure someone will find a way. Cerebral and I seem to have come to the same conclusion independently.

I think Cerebral's account of ego helps to explain Republicans. With them it's all "me, me, me."

(added Sept. 26, 2006)

I hope you don't mind, Cerebral, but I quoted your post in a message to a philosopher friend.

I agree with both of you and I find this topic to be one of the most interesting topics in any field to think about. Alan Watts wrote some great stuff about this in his books, especially the taboo, anyone has read it. If not, I highly recommend it, especially if either of these posts has peaked your attention. The first comment, I would think had to have come from someone who has read his work, and yet with these things so many people come to the exact same conclusions independently that I would not believe it to be completely necessary. I remember reading it with a sense of finally having the words for something that I had always known somehow. Some kind of cross between knowledge based on direct experience, that of testimony and that of inference. Anyway, I am enjoying this site despite the some of the negative things I've read in some of your posts and I hope to become a less disappointing new member.

Welcome to BrainMeta. I have, in fact, read some of Watts' stuff but it was so long ago (30 years or so) I don't remember any exact titles.

Our egos aren't a problem per se (in this sense a 'problem' just means something that obscures our awareness of our buddha-nature). Our attachment to our ego is a problem. It isn't the ego that must be uprooted and destroyed, but attachment to it. And our attachment to our ego is very deeply ingrained. And because the ego is very tricky, and we have closely identified with it, the process of eliminating our attachment to it (becoming liberated from it) is difficult.

As a word or an idea for that process, 'ego-death' is allright, but it seems quite obscure to me. It can't accurately mean the death of ego, unless ego is understood to be defilement (which would be mistaken - to be accurate it's not the ego itself but our attachment to it that's the defilement).

Perhaps ego-death could be understood, metaphorically, to mean our death to ego. To me, to die to ego would be to no longer cherish ego (like dying to self is no longer to cherish the self). So maybe we can understand it in that sense?

I'm very interested in methods for overcoming ego-cherishing. There are many, and I'm keen to learn more...

You might like this, Rick...

How approriate, that map. Red used to stand for communism. Now it stands for the blood on the hands of Republicans and their enablers (all those who stand aside and let them rule).

Methods for overcoming ego-cherishing? Grace Slick was invited to a White House tea for her alumna Tricia where she planned to slip powdered LSD from her coat pocket, using her long fingernails, into some tea. However, the Secret Service learned she might be "subversive" (being the lead member of the Jefferson Airplane psychedelic rock band), and stopped her at the door.

Such an act as Grace intended would be wrong, however, violating Timothy Leary's second commandment of the psychedelic age. The blowing away of ego must be voluntary.

What, and end our neurotic narcissism? Are you mad? It's one of the joyous illusions of life.

The Psychedelic Guide by Timothy Leary offers some suggestions, as does The Book on the Taboo Against konwing who you are by Alan Watts. So does Be Here Now by Ram Dass, formerly named Richard Alpert when he helped write the Psychedelic Guide with Leary...

Thanks, BornaDreamer

I've had quite a few experiences with psychedelics (psilocybin mushrooms, LSD and mescalin) which have been very comfortable ways of 'transcending' ego... but the monkey's been back on my back almost as soon as the trip's over. My last mushroom trip just made me feel poisoned, so I think psychedelics may have outlived their usefulness to me. I've been doing tranquility meditation for about a year... that's just a start. Vipassana soon though.

I like Alan Watts - he was very inspirational to me. And he makes a shitload of very good points, and he makes them very accessible. But I'm very sorry to have to say that there are some convincing arguments that his mysticism is wayward, which can be a hindrance if you buy into the wayward aspects of his story.

Ram Dass I've only read a few pages of, though I have to say I dug it.

Pema Chodron is a goodie, too.


I hit "Reply" before I paused for thought and recognised the irony...

What are these "wayward" aspects? I'm afriad I'm not aware. And I will have to check out your other author. I highly recommend Be Here Now if you ever get a chance, its definitely off-beat but very, very good (or it hit me at just the right time in just the right way, you never can tell with these things).

I also am trying meditation currently with varying levels of success. How have you found it?

In quite a funny circumstance, a man called Alan W. Watts writes this essay on the wayward mysticism of Alan Watts... (that's a link, so click it). The essay is quite long, but I think it's meticulously (if strongly) argued.

A brief excerpt: Watts' mysticism is deviant because it seeks perversely to undo mystical experience. This is done by inferring from the fact that mystical experience is not ineffable, that there is no separation between the spiritual and the physical, which eventually is transformed into the view that the spiritual and the physical are virtually the same thing, which Watts calls his "spiritual materialism." As we shall try to show, the point of this ideology is that it both precludes the possibility and obviates the necessity of mystical experience. What is perverse about Watts' mysticism, in a word, is that it is antimystical.


Many thanks... I suppose I'd agree with you on that last bit.


Well... I think we should clarify which kind of meditation we're doing, since there are so many. I've been doing tranquility meditation using the breath as a support for about a year. I've found it:

fascinating (in the things that I've learned about the mind and its 'contents')
deeply calming (relaxing both in the meditating moment and afterwards)
illuminating (it's revealed some useful methods for being calmer and happier)
peaceful (time out from the frenetic activity of workaday life)
joyful (I can't really explain, but I've experienced some wonderful rushes of joy)

as well as

difficult (since it's something you can't DO, so you need to be very patient... it's like trying to relax)
frustrating (only a week after great calm and concentration, I repeatedly become lost in discursive thoughts)
and troubling (as some of the darkness and delusion underlying my negative attitudes has been revealed).

Overall, though - extremely worthwhile.

And you? Let me know what you think of that article about Alan Watts...