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MOST common definitions for the term "argument" relate to the provision of substantial evidence to strongly defend a position. Examples are given below.
Definition:
[noun] a fact or assertion offered as evidence that something is true; "it was a strong argument that his hypothesis was true"
Synonyms: statement
assertion:noun
: the act of asserting; also : DECLARATION, AFFIRMATION
as·sert
1 : to state or declare positively and often forcefully or aggressively
2 a : to demonstrate the existence of <assert his manhood
Hypothesis:1 a : an assumption or concession made for the sake of argument b : an interpretation of a practical situation or condition taken as the ground for action
2 : a tentative assumption made in order to draw out and test its logical or empirical consequences
3 : the antecedent clause of a conditional statement
HYPOTHESIS implies insufficient evidence to provide more than a tentative explanation
The need to assert ones self in an argument is often a defensive measure to protect what one has to lose. If something can be taken away or needs to be argued for then it is vulnerable and the position one stands in to protect is not a winning position. If you need to win something because it is not yours already then you are in a position of not having it. You have not gained anything nor do you have anything. You need to win and so you have already assumed the lost position by seeking to change it to a win.
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[noun] a contentious speech act; a dispute where there is strong disagreement; "they were involved in a violent argument"
Synonyms: controversy, contention, contestation, disputation, disceptation, tilt, arguing
If violence ensues there is no peaceful resolve, you have lost already because what you need to protect by violent action wasn't stable enough to hold its position on it's own.
You cannot win something that doesn't prevail on its own merit. You might hypnotize yourself by creating a belief that your ideal changes from being flimsy to solid, but that is just your belief.
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[noun] a discussion in which reasons are advanced for and against some proposition or proposal; "the argument over foreign aid goes on and on"
Synonyms: ation, debate
Are we discussing argument or debate? Do you want to insist they are the same according to your previous examples?
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[noun] a summary of the subject or plot of a literary work or play or movie; "the editor added the argument to the poem"
Synonyms: literary
This doesn't apply to this discussion as a definition of an argument by the previous examples. .
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[noun] a variable in a logical or mathematical expression whose value determines the dependent variable; if f(x)=y, x is the independent variable
This only applies if you insist the the discussions points to a variable such as belief by the majority. A variable is something that seeks resolve through deduction not force, or the assertion to make it so. Does a variable become real by forcing it to be so? By arguing it into reality.
Let's not be stupid and follow exact definitions without really thinking about what it is we are immersiing ourselves in. Human nature doesn't have to be so ignorant of reality to make these types of assumptions
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So why does arguing mean that you've already lost?
Simple logic according to your definitions. If you need to assert yourself to bring forth and impress a truth then you are standing in ground that is not self evident but in ground that is wouthout stability until you come to the decision or experience thru argument that it is stable. You have already lost before you have won.
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I suggest you analyze the meaning of terms well before you decide to go all out in attempting to criticize them.
I suggest you forget about your fear of being criticized and set yourself free by allowing all thought to exist without fear of your feeling and belief being taken away. No one can take anything from you that you won't let go of or don't have a stable grip on.
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But I do understand that being advised to 'calm down' might be embarrassing and it is sometimes difficult to accept that one is out of order. But we are all grown ups here (?) so lets get back to a meaningful discussion. (Hint, I'm moderating here).
Are you really moderating or are you letting your personal feelings lead you into making assumptions?