there were some frightening experiences i had of a spiritual nature, to which i reacted out of anger. i see that is is somewhat like a fight or flight response, except it was definately a test, a dark night or shadow self reaction, and indeed leads to wasting my temple and to evil. i would shrug it off for a long time, because i didn't understand that. its like having the shi* scared out of you and then finding yourself in an insane mind. someone said you must love your self hate, and i must love my anger, accept it and learn from it. over a year ago my soul left my body, i started thinking about suicide immediately, but i'm still here, so i see i was luckier than i knew, which seems to be a continuing lesson for me. i try to meditate but i can barely hear my voice, and when i do i am overcome by fear or anger. anyone got any thoughts, suggestion? thanks for letting me share here. 'nite.

Change your routine. For example, if you're typically physically active, trying being sedentary for a couple of days; if you're sedentary, trying being more active and maybe take up running. Another example, try pulling an all-niter or too. Another example, try fasting for a couple of days. Another example, try going to new and different places. Just try anything to change your routine. Routine is like death to life.