What do you do when your friend really isnt a friend.
when she uses you for drugs and an exuse to go f**k herself up with a person with worse drugs. what do you do when your tired of being an exuse and being used and hurt and just...your just sick. what do you do? what do i do? why do i try? when things are going good somthing always comes and makes it all go to hell. its not fair this life. what do i do? dump her as a friend? try to act understanding? let her walk all over me for the rest of my life? what do I do? stay confussed? wear a old smile thats only used to look the way i'll never feel? i dont know what to do anymore. im just so sick and im so tired and i dont wanna feel pain anymore help me... please please help

I wish I knew. Sometimes just the passage of time puts it in perspective.

rick is right time will put things in perspective. i understand what your going through, i used to be so lonely, isolated, felt worthless, no matter how many friends i had i always felt insignificant and alone, sometimes this even strained my relationship with people because i too felt like an excuse i'd get really angry, frustrated and jealous, i started experimenting with drugs and for a long time i was doing it everyday. eventually i became afraid of the world, afraid of people, i couldn't even look my parents in the eyes, not because of guilt but fear, i just crashed. i literally couldnt sleep for a year, only a couple of hours a week, it sounds excessive but its true it felt like i lost my mind. so i just stopped, i withdrew from the world and eventually i came to realise many things. everything that your going through, the way you see yourself in the world aren't necessarily true. your not worthless, your not an excuse, the only reason your in this position and people treat you the way they do is because you beleive your this way, just as i did, and this is the way people will treat you. they don't do it on purpose, your behaviour and intention is about self validation and seeking self worth, this creates a strain on your realtionship because you, dare i say, are using them just as much as they are using you. a deep and personal connection cannot be established because you create those relationships for a different reason. i took drugs as a way to validate myself, to make people think and to make myself think that i was something more, i also took drugs because when i was high i was happy, i had no fear, for a while i was just lost in the sensation. but this is all wrong, because your a life, as is your friend, there is no such thing as status, you and your friend are different because you have different views of yourselves and the world around you. your not an excuse, your not in any way lower or less then anyone else, but you get treated like this because you think you are. most people dont understand this and because you project yourself this way they repell because they too perceive the world in this way, they feel that if they associate with you they some how go down as well. for example how many people do you see chatting away with the homeless or people spending fortunes on expensive cars or getting $50 haircuts. when my fear of people increased, a lot of people stopped associating with me because they saw me as i saw myself. i have to stop, i know this is long cluttered and repetitive but i hope it helped because i know how hard it must be, i went through hell every single day because of it, i had severe depression and almost insanity, and i am still slowly comming out of it. if you need someone to talk to just let me know

hey i read what i wrote yesterday and its not articulated well, if you read it i hope it helped...

Unknown, it's not possible to sleep for a couple of hours a week and survive - get real! TheLonelyOne needs some sensible help not self-illuminating rubbish.

TheLonelyOne, know that there are people out here who sympathize and want to be shoulders to lean on. We all need to help each other during bad times. And we all have bad times. What Rick said is true, but it won't seem to help at the time. Get busy, sleep a lot, go to the cinema, talk to people and then talk some more. And post your feeling here - some of us care.

i guess it is self-illuminating rubbish, i guess i was wrong to assume that he/she is in that situation because he/she is the one creating it.

i know what i wrote is all over the place and like i said its not articulated well but the underlying message is there. furthermore contrary to what you believe, i do care, otherwise i wouldn't have given my input in the first place, if i was seeking to falsely be illuminated i would have logged in under my registered username and glorified myself.

finally, it frustrates me how easily you discredit my advice, i know my understanding isn't absolute, but how accurate can your perception be of me and my experience after merely reading a couple of sentences i strung together? so my advice to you is next time you don't agree with another member at least add something constructive.

Im just amased people care enough to write to me it makes me feel good. I was really upset that day but im over it, thanks for the input on my writing