Future Rising in the Sky

for she who is hope to me

The sunshine and the Santa Ana wind
Have swept in and I am no longer pinned
Within my doors by chilling winter rain
The breath of the desert breathes here again
And with this swooping sweeping of the spring
I feel that anything and everything
Any new thing can be new life I see
New love for me a possibility
Which blows in on the scented desert air

I feel in my heart I know in my mind
The excitement of breathing free at last
My hope is real I know I feel it there
Inside of me the dark days left behind
The detritus and debris of the past
Blown away by the warm refreshing breath
Of budding spring as it overwhelms death
My life is blowing in the wind and I
Can see my future rising in the sky

+Steven Curtis Lance



Copyright MMV

so like....

silke died, or she faked her death and you found out?


what happened to you two?

She faked her death. They even had a fake funeral and a fake scattering of "ashes." I grieved; lots of people grieved, then she reappeared under her new fake identity and dumped me for another man. Last I heard his wife didn't know she was alive. Convenient! I guess she wanted to get rid of me. I am sure as hell glad to be rid of her, now that I am emerging from the spell of her brainwashing and can see how sick it all was.

She is alive and well and living with the man she dumped me for using a false identity.

The whole thing was a cruel tease, an Internet scam. She never let me meet her; I never met nor saw her, even though she said she took my last name and called herself my wife, and expected me to call myself her husband. She strung me along, and I followed, like a damned fool.

I got hosed.

I feel embarrassed and ashamed. A thousand days trapped within a web of lies and madness.

But I'm over it now. It was just really cruel the way she manipulated so many people. I could tell you things which would curl your hair about this person; it's simply mind-blowing. Some very good investigators have found out a lot of interesting things about this whole insane interlude, to which I lost a thousand days of my life along with my heart. Now I'm just angry. Sadder but wiser.

I keep meaning to tell Shawn something which she did to him which would be very much of interest to him; suffice it to say she is the reason we had to change the domain name here at the site.

"Silke," whoever she was, was a very cruel and manipulative person.

I just want to forget her now. There are, I now discover to my utter amazement, nice girls in the world who are not insane at all, nor manipulative, nor cruel.

I know she will send me some more computer viruses now, or members of her entourage will, but I don't give a damn: no more lies. I had to live a lie and lie for her for way, way too long. No more.

I am a simple and an honest man, and she really made a fool of me.

awe dude im sorry to hear that.

did you marry her?

I wanted to marry her. I kept begging her to let me come over to Germany and marry her, but she always put me off with some excuse. Everybody wondered about all this but me. I was really a sucker.

But no, thank God, I didn't marry her; she wouldn't let me.

So, actually, I've been single all this time. I'm "single and looking," as they say. I wonder if any ladies will want me still? I'm obviously really loyal...

Geez Louise, I really got hosed in this thing. But I might as well admit it. It feels good to just tell the truth, and be out from under her thumb.

I feel a lot better without her. Looking back now, I can see it was actually a horrible, sick, perverted nightmare. I'm just lucky to escape from it.

I hope she and Tobias have a wonderful time together. And I also hope his wife Marina finds out. If, that is, any of these people actually exist!

What a load of crap, and I believed it all.

Oh well, life goes on. Even for the "dead" Silke, who has a new name now.

f**k her
uncreative b*tch.

youll be fine steven

Thanks.

I really appreciate your solidarity!

That's just the way I feel about it, actually.

Respect and solidarity, Unknown friend.

I like your poem Steven. It never ceases to amaze me what one day of sushine can do to a person. I know I'm much happier when the sun is shining and I can wear shorts! Although here in Wisconsin we have a long way to go yet, until it's sunny and warm. Bummer, I want to go camping something fierce!

You're so right about sunshine. It really helps me. Maybe I have that Seasonal Affective Disorder, along with everything else, who knows?

Anyway, I'm doing pretty well now, getting over getting hosed and all. I still need to write something good today, though, but I think I will be able to soon, after the car is safely at the "hospital," where I know it will be in good hands. Geez, it belonged to my grandparents, and I feel almost like I did when I used to wait for the ambulance... it's like I'm a museum docent or the trustee of some living link of family history, which, I guess, I am. When The Mighty Chrysler is safe at the hospital, getting what it needs, I will relax and write a new poem.

I hope you can go camping soon. My wonderful teacher, Frank Pooler, who was also the teacher and manager of Karen and Richard Carpenter (The Carpenters), was born up there where you are and goes back there frequently. God bless him, I should take him to lunch; I've been meaning to for years. But he doesn't drive anymore and my car is sick. And I'm such a recluse these days.

But the sun is out! I'm back. I'm like the groundhog coming out of his hole. Although I forget the rest of the groundhog lore; all I know is I'm coming out of a hole.

I must read Misty's new poems too... she's so good, and so good to me.

Respect, solidarity, and love to you, camper, from your friend and fellow poet,

+Stevie

Isn't it good to see nice people being nice to each other..........more..........please

Abso-F**KING-lutely, my friend!

And now my car is safe at the car-hospital, in the best of loving hands. They were already ministering to its mighty engine most tenderly and respectfully as I was leaving; I saw them with satisfaction in a backward glance over my sun-kissed shoulder as I headed home on foot, on this glorious early spring day.

Now I must write something good...

I will try.

Thanks so much, Hey Hey, for being such a good sport about everything. I think everything will be OK hereabouts now. I used to have to hop around all the time because "Silke" was always yelling at me about practically anything and everything posted. Now, my attitude toward hamster-dude and the rest is a simple "f**k you."

And a lot of the trouble was either her or brought on by her in any case. So, life is peaceful now. Also, there are a lot of nice and quite sane ladies in the world; I never noticed that before! How fascinating!

So it's all good. Everybody be cool. You too, hamster-dude; the schoolyard-bully sh*t gets real old real fast with me.

PEACE AND POETRY,

+Stevie