Crawling Toward Healing

one poet's psychological crisis and pilgrimage

Is madness inescapable for me
A biological imperative
Written in the book of life in the sky
Encoded in my genes and all that means
A destiny of family history
A sentence of death under which to live
No matter what I do nor how I try?

Made a fool of on the Internet
My words offend seized on by enemies
I thought were friends who relish times like these
Made a fool of everywhere and yet
In sickness what am I supposed to do
Stop writing poetry?
I will not be him I cannot be you
I can only be me
I have to express myself and I will
Forty years failure of medication
I have paid my dues I have paid the bill

I return to God and meditation
With the help of God I will overcome
I will stand again somehow
By the love of God I will overcome
And my healing starts right now
Breakdown breakup breakout
Never count me out

+Steven Curtis Lance



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