Holy Order of the Invisible Pink Unicorn (HOOTIPU) Options

[Timothy_417]

I've decided to start a religion.  I hereby inaugurate the Holy Order of the Invisible Pink Unicorn (HOOTIPU) and proclaim its sacred universality.  Let there be no doubt that the Invisible Pink Unicorn (IPU) is real and ultimate.  How do I know that the IPU is real?  I have experienced it.  I am not decieved for my experience of holy invisible pinkness is accutely real and transcends the mere illusion of this present world.  The IPU is real.  It is everyone, and in everyting.  I am the IPU and so are you.  In fact, reality is the IPU, bless that holy name.  Reason and truth are insufficient to describe the reality of the loving lord unicorn.  As such they cannot be used to invalidate the reality of the holy pointed one, and are vulgar machinations of humans blind to the nature of their own delusion.  Look deep into yourself and discover the truth of the IPU.  Grasp onto the holy horn reality and ride the invisibly pink winged stallion of truth into oblivion!

--------
Your High Priest and Overlord,
Timothy

PS - Tithe is 95% and is due tuesday

May pinkness prevail!

[Laz]

Oh lord, you have found me, I never thought this day would come. I rejoice in the presence of the Invisible Pink Unicorn and let it enter my heart for all eternity.

I have been searching for so very long, i can't even remember my own father, and i weep at the thought of my turmoil being finally over.

So that i might best serve you best along the long and fruitful journey of our wonderful new religion. Allow me to sit at your side and adopt you as my new invisible father.

I shall take a new title for my duties, hence forth I shall be known as Pastor Of Old Kindling and Irritating Effluence (POOKIE).

Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple...

I have the power of the Invisible Pink Unicorn, I feel it flowing through me, oh Ubermeister of madness, i am reborn in your image. I HAVE EXPERIENCED THE IPU, Rejoice in pinkness!

Do you think others might join us?

POOKIE.

PS: Can i pay thursday as my old war wound is playing up and i can only hobbleon my knees in the mud, oh and i might be a little short this year, my wife needs a new sow, sorry!

[joe]

Please put my dues on my account.[img]http://www.feebleminds-gifs.com/enverlope.gif[/img]

[img]http://www.feebleminds-gifs.com/peeing.gif[/img][img]http://www.willrich.supanet.com/horses/5h.gif[/img]

Please note: I am "posturing exalted effluence in natural gesture" (P.E.E.I.N.G.) and bending over and passing wind in your general direction in observance of your exaltedness.[img]http://www.willrich.supanet.com/simpsons/2.gif[/img]
[img]http://www.feebleminds-gifs.com/point.gif[/img][img]http://www.feebleminds-gifs.com/arg-clowndrum.gif[/img] Call me for the meeting[img]http://www.feebleminds-gifs.com/phone-4.gif[/img]
[img]http://www.feebleminds-gifs.com/adu118.gif[/img]

[rhymer]

Joe,
I think you are most disrepectful to the Lord of this declared religious Belief!

A: You have shown a white Unicorn,
B: You have displayed yourself running across to  the      Unicorn and peeing on it !!!

best regards, Bill.

[joe]

The unicorn was pink, I think it is changing color......

As far as disrespect goes, I think any conflict may be in the interpretation of worship.

[rhymer]

Hi Joe,

I worship humour !!!!
May it long outlive humans !!!

My monitor is obviously not in the pink at the moment - I do apologise and remove my erroneous observation.

You must, however be a heavy drinker to need to frequent the Unicorn so frequently !!!
Best regards, Bill.

[rhymer]

Hi Tim,
I do not deny the existence of the sacred Unicorn, (I have respect for all Faiths) but if this Unicorn is invisible, how do you know it is pink?
You say I am (as we all are) the pink Unicorn, and yet I can see myself in the mirror and I am not pink (though I may have a pinkness deficiency in my rods and cones rather than my monitor), and I do not have a long pointed whatsit sticking out of my head!

Please accept my apologies if my post seems disrespectful and forward to me immediately all data you have on this exciting new revelation for my consideration. I shall not enrol for membership until I have fully tested any claims for the efficacy of this new knowledge source.
Best regards, Bill.

[joe]

QUOTE

You must, however be a heavy drinker to need to frequent the Unicorn so frequently !!!

Only water!

[Dan]

I've been worshipping the beautiful Invisible Pink Unicorn for all of negative eternity which is tomorrow

and the Invisible Pink Unicorn is not in Everything, Everything is in the Invisible Pink Unicorn!

8)

[Timothy_417]

So speaketh the prophet Dan, so be'eth the truth!  Let us Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple together in blessed communion.

rhymer:

You cannot know or experience the truth of the IPU until you lay aside the obstacle of your reasoning.  The IPU is omnipotent and as such can exist in paradox.  It need not conform to our feeble reasoning.  The invisible pinkess is real and I know this in two ways: 1) The transcendant IPU has revealed itself to me 2) The Sacred Scriptures of the HOOTIPU, which I have written, declare it to be true and authoritative.

Seek not for evidence, for evidence abrogates faith, and without faith there can be no Salvation.  Abandon reason, for reason fetters us to the illusion of this world.  Find the IPU and the IPU will find you.  It's self is your self, and all else imperfection.  Do you want to be perfect?  Of course you do!  In what way can we consider this putative 'reality' to be perfect?  In no way!  But invisible pinkness is perfect, scripture and experience declare it to be so!  What more do you need than my testimony?  But see for yourself, simply release yourself from reason, and from all mortal reality and be just be...if you do this my son, you will know true perfection.

Joe:

Your holy urine is the holy urine of the IPU.  Your pitiful attempts to defile his phallic lordship only glorifies his blessedness.  You have annointed the IPU and you the IPU has annointed you.  It is he and she and you and her and him and that and this and now and then and all and none and much and little and discord and UNITY!

The IPU symbolizes all this.  What is there to deny, but denial itself?

Bishop Laz and Prophet Dan bear witness to these truths.

[joe]

QUOTE

Joe: Your holy urine is the holy urine of the IPU.  Your pitiful attempts to defile his phallic lordship only glorifies his blessedness.  You have annointed the IPU and you the IPU has annointed you.  It is he and she and you and her and him and that and this and now and then and all and none and much and little and discord and UNITY!

I'm not sure why anyone wants to go with the thought of me defiling anything. I never made that claim, so this must be your interpretation.
What God creates is God, and he/she/it, is within all actions, there can be no less.

QUOTE

The IPU symbolizes all this.  What is there to deny, but denial itself? Bishop Laz and Prophet Dan bear witness to these truths.

I'm not so sure you guys aren't just a couple of false prophets if you are seeing/making claims to less, or are aware of less than what you profess to be truth.

[Timothy_417]

Poor preacherjoe, you are so blind.  Defilement by urination is a nearly universal human convension.  I never claimed that you claimed this to be so.  In fact you are claiming that I am claiming you claimed, an only too tired argument.  Let me reiterate: only a too tired argument.  Interpretation is a form of self-expression, a fundamental aspect of self and so is divine.  Your failure to comprehend the nature of reality is a result of your never having witnesses the truth of the IPU.  Repend and be absorbed into perfection.

Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple !

Amen

[Alison]

You're all sad monkeys, stop distracting my boyfriend and go out and get some sun. You look far too pale, it's not healthy.

[Laz]

Thanks Al, love ya  ;D

QUOTE

I'm not so sure you guys aren't just a couple of false prophets if you are seeing/making claims to less, or are aware of less than what you profess to be truth.

Hey, as long as it's funny, i'll follow anything; a shoe, a gourd, some schmuck named Brian...

Bugga Bugga!

POOKIE.

[Dan]

Clearly preacherjoe is trapped in illusion, creating a false image and reality for himself.  Although this is merely perfection in action, it is also divisive and prone to creating illusory pain and karma which is not really real.  If preacherjoe would simply accept the Invisible Pink Unicorn and become one with the Invisible Pink Unicorn, all illusion would evaporate and he would know the nature of un-falseness.  All preacherjoe has to do is accept without prejudice the Teachings from those who gnow of the truth of the Invisible Pink Unicorn, how easy is that!  Why would a person refuse the wisdom of those who gnow?  It makes negative sense!  Would an unformed apple tree attempt to grow without accepting the gnowledge of an apple seed? Any man who refuses the direct and easy path to the Invisible Pink Unicorn because of a silly desire to 'understand' is a foolish masochist.  There is no 'understanding', only gnowledge!  Attempt to think yourself to the Invisible Pink Unicorn and you will likely fail, but just accept the Invisible Pink Unicorn already and become That effortlessly!  

I now speak the indecipherable truths of the Invisible Pink Unicorn, as he dictates them to me:

lalalalalalalalalalalalalalolololalalalalalalalalalolelolelelelozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzlalalalala
lalalalalalalalalolololalalalalalalalalalolelolelelelozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzlalalalalalalalalala
lalalalolololalalalalalalalalalolelolelelelozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzlalalalalalalalalalalalalalolo
lolalalalalalalalalalolelolelelelozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzlalalalalalalalalalalalalalolololalalala
lalalalalalolelolelelelozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzlalalalalalalalalalalalalalolololalalalalalalalala
lolelolelelelozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzlalalalalalalalalalalalalalolololalalalalalalalalalolelolele
lelozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzlalalalalalalalalalalalalalolololalalalalalalalalalolelolelelelozzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzz

blessed bee  

[joe]

[img]http://www.feebleminds-gifs.com/skeleton1.gif[/img]

[Laz]

[img]http://www.secularism.org.uk/immovies/life2.jpg[/img]

As a Pastor of this religion, i think i speak for the people when i say its about high time that we heard the invisible pink unicorn speak. We have been faithfull followers, and have converted one lost soul in your name oh master.

So lord speak to us; your disciples. Speak not through an interpreteur but as yourself. Send us a sign so that we might spread the word of your existance even further.

[Invisible Pink Unicorn]

Behold the Invisible Pink Unicorn.

[img]http://www.palmyra.demon.co.uk/humour/herholy.gif[/img]

The Invisible Pink Unicorns is a being of great spiritual power. We know this because she is capable of being invisible and pink at the same time. Like all religions, the Faith of the Invisible Pink Unicorn is based upon both logic and faith. We have faith that she is pink; we logically know that she is invisible because we can't see her.

The above image is merely a representation of Her Pinkness and should not in any way be taken as a True Likeness.

http://www.palmyra.demon.co.uk/humour/ipu.htm

[joe]

[img]http://www.palmyra.demon.co.uk/humour/creation.gif[/img]

http://www.joecartoon.com/pages/mantra/

[Laz]

Aw nuts! I thought that Tim was just having a laugh with an original idea. I didn't realise until reading about the IPU that it was actually a well thought out critisism of established religions and belief systems.

I guess the IPU did kind of speak, it told me to stop having a laugh, this is serious, in a tounge in cheek HHGTTG way.

I think i'll hang up my pastors robes and go and do some work.

Or I could start my own original comedy religion with no message behind it, and exists just to give us amusement.

Anyone fancy Totalitarian Terrapin, who believes all but his followers should live two up two down; inside a cow.

His followers shall inherit the earth, or at least the warm shallow waters around Australia, Hawaii, Goa, and any brackish estuaries and salt marshes they choose.

TT also strongly encorrages hiding whenever faced with danger, a difficult question, or an invisible pink unicorn.

So I give to you the new leader of this religion; Chairman Totalitarian Terrapin (Terry to his friends)

[img]www.closertogod.net/stuff/chairmanterri.jpg[/img]

[joe]

He looks like a communist.

[rhymer]

Sounds a bit fishy to me !!!!

But, knowing the way some humans think, I have no doubt somebody, tucked up in their little shell, will believe it.
And, that is their entitlement - may they long feel content, but leave me alone.
Best regards Bill.

[joe]

QUOTE

may they long feel content, but leave me alone

Now that's funny!

[Timothy_417]

While I had heard the term IPU before while venturing in pagan lands, I was unaware that there were others that had been blessed with this most glorious revelation.  Can there be any doubt now we have independent confirmation that the IPU is real?

Some people do not contest the existence of the IPU because they feel such claims are ridiculous and that to engage in debate against HOOTIPU lends a degree of credibility to an otherwise absurd position.  But let it be known - if you think that HOOTIPU is absurd, you destroy the basis for your own system of beliefs.  Bill is the only individuals here who truly comprehends this epistemological necessity, and I respect him for it insofar as he is intellectually honest enough to embrace the implications of his faith, unlike so few who profess a spirituality (or aspirituality).   There are many here who would do well to heed the wisdom of Bill, myself included.

[Agnostic4Now]

 Oh Joe Joe Joe Joooe. How easily you fall into the pitfall you yourself made. Don't you see where thy're going with this? You quite simply said for them to prove you wrong in the other thread. So start proving them wrong, or else our Unicorn has complete omnipotence and control over all creation! This is how religions get started. Isn't it fun? All we need is someone to die for us and a big book that tells you what to do to be an organized religion!

 Tell ya what.... prove there's a God, I'll accept that there is one. And as a bonus, i'll prove there's a Unicorn!'Til then, "Hell's" gonna still be on fire! Bugga bugga whoop whoop piffle blargle blarg huzzah and amen. Seee you at tithe!!

[bohdisattva]

There is no pitfall here to fall into, only the experience.   The proof of God you request resides in the realization of the divine spark within each of us.   Without this realization, proofs are meaningless.   I don't think you've made this realization.   At best, those who have realized it can point towards it, but it's you, Agnostic4Now, that must experience it.   Only then will you understand.

[Timothy_417]

Yes Agnostic4Now...realize the divine spark! Hahahaha

[bodhisattva]

QUOTE

Yes Agnostic4Now...realize the divine spark! Hahahaha

BEHOLD!!!!   It's Timothy realizing the divine spark, or so he thinks!

[img]
http://damaged.anime.net/archive/dork.gif[...[/img][/center]







Too bad the ignorant can not appreciate the depths of their ignorance, and would rather choose to laugh by way of their own stupidity.  Right, Timothy?

[joe]

The common experience is what most will worship.
The ego takes its individual experience, compares it with others, finds a common point and then validates itself.
This is from years of programming at birth to negate the divine that is within and replacing it with individualism, fear and emotional codependence.

Life is just a choice. The mentality of the ego is always prove something and I will believe it.
Christ appeared 2000 years ago as did many others before him to prove the divine within. The problem with this has always been that the self worth issues of humanity in its programmed disbelief in any relationship with the divine within, took these individuals and placed them on pedestals. They continued to worship out of habit through the trained outer senses rather than see the outer projection of the inner Self.
Christ performed all the miracles, even taught a few how to do them and to Self realize and yet habit and ignorance returned to the skewed interpretations that some people have it, and others don't.
So most of Humanity still sits on their ass waiting for the inspirational outer manifestation of greatness i.e. the pink unicorn, the winning lottery ticket or the perfect political saviour to take their suffereing away so they can stay comfortable in their own lives and control without actually doing anything themselves to change.
God never takes away anyones free will to stay stupid, God allows all choices to be made and so it is a point of reference.
From perfection all choices lead to the same place as all rivers lead to the same ocean.

Those that sit in ignorance will judge the other.
The religious fanatics will judge those that turn away from God and the unbelievers judge the believers.

There is nothing to prove to those that do not wish to see anything other than what they believe.

There is a scripture that says Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all else will be given unto you.

Those that seek find. Those that hold onto a belief that it doesn't exist have already made a choice and look no further and will challenge another to take away what they have found.
That is impossible.
 What one experiences cannot be taken away. However those that stay stuck in one experience cannot move beyond the limits of it to experience anything else unless they make the choice to. So no amount of proof or coercion can turn the vision to see something it denies without the willingness to actually see it.
Just because someone says show me and I'll believe doesn't mean they are willing to see.
God has existed always and that is plain enough for those that have seen and in fact it is extremely obvious. But to those that don't look, how can you see if you don't know what you are looking for or you are so convinced there is nothing to look for.

[Timothy_417]

The only person who appears stupid here is you Joe, or bodhisattva, or mr. rational, or carl, or whatever persona you choose to be the vehicle of your lies.