Holy Order of the Invisible Pink Unicorn (HOOTIPU) Options

[Timothy_417]

I've decided to start a religion.  I hereby inaugurate the Holy Order of the Invisible Pink Unicorn (HOOTIPU) and proclaim its sacred universality.  Let there be no doubt that the Invisible Pink Unicorn (IPU) is real and ultimate.  How do I know that the IPU is real?  I have experienced it.  I am not decieved for my experience of holy invisible pinkness is accutely real and transcends the mere illusion of this present world.  The IPU is real.  It is everyone, and in everyting.  I am the IPU and so are you.  In fact, reality is the IPU, bless that holy name.  Reason and truth are insufficient to describe the reality of the loving lord unicorn.  As such they cannot be used to invalidate the reality of the holy pointed one, and are vulgar machinations of humans blind to the nature of their own delusion.  Look deep into yourself and discover the truth of the IPU.  Grasp onto the holy horn reality and ride the invisibly pink winged stallion of truth into oblivion!

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Your High Priest and Overlord,
Timothy

PS - Tithe is 95% and is due tuesday

May pinkness prevail!

[Agnostic4Now]

 I never woulda thought a thread started on wackiness would attract wackos. Guess I shoulda.

 So tell me: What's the difference between you guys and the Mormons who end up killing people because God tells them to? Your argument comes down to "It's my word against yours." Ever heard of a little American travesty called the Salem Witch Trials? Guess why it lasted so long. Hmmm..... put the pieces together.

 Besides, from this divine spark (giggle), I don't see how you can get God from that. Maybe it's static electricity. Maybe its endorphines being distributed haphazardly as a stimulus for pleasure (probably). Maybe it's the gerbil that runs in that little wheel in everyone's brain heaving its last breath. But let's just put it this way..... don't say you know what it is. As they say on the craptacular MTV: "You think you know, but you have no idea." just like all the crazy people that know there are CIA people after them, or bugs all over the place.

 I sense much hostility in you, young Buddha-lover. Please relax your senses.... hate is only caused by either fear or the inability to understand. Remember.... the Invisible Pink Unicorn will always free your mind from such anger. Bugga bugga whoop!