Holy Order of the Invisible Pink Unicorn (HOOTIPU) Options

[Timothy_417]

I've decided to start a religion.  I hereby inaugurate the Holy Order of the Invisible Pink Unicorn (HOOTIPU) and proclaim its sacred universality.  Let there be no doubt that the Invisible Pink Unicorn (IPU) is real and ultimate.  How do I know that the IPU is real?  I have experienced it.  I am not decieved for my experience of holy invisible pinkness is accutely real and transcends the mere illusion of this present world.  The IPU is real.  It is everyone, and in everyting.  I am the IPU and so are you.  In fact, reality is the IPU, bless that holy name.  Reason and truth are insufficient to describe the reality of the loving lord unicorn.  As such they cannot be used to invalidate the reality of the holy pointed one, and are vulgar machinations of humans blind to the nature of their own delusion.  Look deep into yourself and discover the truth of the IPU.  Grasp onto the holy horn reality and ride the invisibly pink winged stallion of truth into oblivion!

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Your High Priest and Overlord,
Timothy

PS - Tithe is 95% and is due tuesday

May pinkness prevail!

[Timothy_417]

So speaketh the prophet Dan, so be'eth the truth!  Let us Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple together in blessed communion.

rhymer:

You cannot know or experience the truth of the IPU until you lay aside the obstacle of your reasoning.  The IPU is omnipotent and as such can exist in paradox.  It need not conform to our feeble reasoning.  The invisible pinkess is real and I know this in two ways: 1) The transcendant IPU has revealed itself to me 2) The Sacred Scriptures of the HOOTIPU, which I have written, declare it to be true and authoritative.

Seek not for evidence, for evidence abrogates faith, and without faith there can be no Salvation.  Abandon reason, for reason fetters us to the illusion of this world.  Find the IPU and the IPU will find you.  It's self is your self, and all else imperfection.  Do you want to be perfect?  Of course you do!  In what way can we consider this putative 'reality' to be perfect?  In no way!  But invisible pinkness is perfect, scripture and experience declare it to be so!  What more do you need than my testimony?  But see for yourself, simply release yourself from reason, and from all mortal reality and be just be...if you do this my son, you will know true perfection.

Joe:

Your holy urine is the holy urine of the IPU.  Your pitiful attempts to defile his phallic lordship only glorifies his blessedness.  You have annointed the IPU and you the IPU has annointed you.  It is he and she and you and her and him and that and this and now and then and all and none and much and little and discord and UNITY!

The IPU symbolizes all this.  What is there to deny, but denial itself?

Bishop Laz and Prophet Dan bear witness to these truths.