Holy Order of the Invisible Pink Unicorn (HOOTIPU) Options

[Timothy_417]

I've decided to start a religion.  I hereby inaugurate the Holy Order of the Invisible Pink Unicorn (HOOTIPU) and proclaim its sacred universality.  Let there be no doubt that the Invisible Pink Unicorn (IPU) is real and ultimate.  How do I know that the IPU is real?  I have experienced it.  I am not decieved for my experience of holy invisible pinkness is accutely real and transcends the mere illusion of this present world.  The IPU is real.  It is everyone, and in everyting.  I am the IPU and so are you.  In fact, reality is the IPU, bless that holy name.  Reason and truth are insufficient to describe the reality of the loving lord unicorn.  As such they cannot be used to invalidate the reality of the holy pointed one, and are vulgar machinations of humans blind to the nature of their own delusion.  Look deep into yourself and discover the truth of the IPU.  Grasp onto the holy horn reality and ride the invisibly pink winged stallion of truth into oblivion!

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Your High Priest and Overlord,
Timothy

PS - Tithe is 95% and is due tuesday

May pinkness prevail!

[Laz]

Oh lord, you have found me, I never thought this day would come. I rejoice in the presence of the Invisible Pink Unicorn and let it enter my heart for all eternity.

I have been searching for so very long, i can't even remember my own father, and i weep at the thought of my turmoil being finally over.

So that i might best serve you best along the long and fruitful journey of our wonderful new religion. Allow me to sit at your side and adopt you as my new invisible father.

I shall take a new title for my duties, hence forth I shall be known as Pastor Of Old Kindling and Irritating Effluence (POOKIE).

Bugga Bugga Bugga Bugga Whoop Whoop fipple...

I have the power of the Invisible Pink Unicorn, I feel it flowing through me, oh Ubermeister of madness, i am reborn in your image. I HAVE EXPERIENCED THE IPU, Rejoice in pinkness!

Do you think others might join us?

POOKIE.

PS: Can i pay thursday as my old war wound is playing up and i can only hobbleon my knees in the mud, oh and i might be a little short this year, my wife needs a new sow, sorry!