A Story you probably will not believe... Options

[LizerLife]

I'm a massive introvert, I have like 2 friends that I'm not very close to. But what happened was I was about 14 and I started doing research on steroids and the human body. Then I found out that there was something called Social Anxiety, and Depression. I always thought I felt different from other kids I was always to off my self and felt uncomfortable with social interaction. So, I thought hey! maybe that's my problem! So I suck out treatment for that. A few months past and I got a few "crazy ideas" in my head. Such as the human body could be way better, short term steroid use could cause growth failure, what ever literally almost kills you makes you better after you heal, and accelerating cell death as well as increasing cell division will extend life. So, at the tender age of 14.8 I took anabolics for a short time, you know the legal ones. Why? because I wanted to pause my growth. Yea, my parents bought them for me, I told them it was a supplement but she pointed at them directly and asked me what they were! Later on I got the Methly steroids to strain my liver, couldn't use them long because they were so hard on the liver. I think my step dad refused treatment for growth failure it was like when I was 17. Because, I went to an endocrinologist and they yelled back and forth for a while but something went wrong with my meds and I was in a grate amount of PAIN. And couldn't really tell whats was going on. I was around 18 and I get a hold of a special form of IGF and MGF. I use those BUT I use 0.1ml of AA to 0.9ml. To get some scar tissue going I was really aiming for my brain. I would family was outside my window while I was doing this but you wouldn't believe me. would tell you m Because I know no other way to get a higher density of neurons on my brain. If I were just to try just were to use Cerebrolysin my brain could get to big and be knocked out easily. Few days after I start using modified GHRH's to try to kill/burn out my hypothalamus. I tell my doctor they get taken away from me and we go see the doctor she really did not say much. I still had my vial of AA and syringes so i loaded up 0.03ml of AA and Injected it trying to destroy my hypothalamus & brain. I went to collage and my step dad cosigned for whatever reason. I went off my meds except my ADD meds. I spent a lot of money flunked out and my parents would not help me with bills. He payed the Loan for a month or two. They applied for me for SSI. I remembered when my g/f spent the night one night i woke up and he was in the room with her, I herd them say things that may indicate that they had where having intercourse then i remembered when I was little my step brother forced himself on me and my step dad was outside of the door he asked me if he could sleep with my first girl friend. This is while my future step brother was onto of me with his penis in my face. I was like wtf I tryed to get up but to see whats going on and couldn't for whatever reason. This is like a year after. So, I called the cops and told them what happend then they asked me to go to the hospital. Then I was committed and they called me Psychotic & Delusional. Then the SSI came threw but they discharged me into the physiologist care that misdiagnosed me and not the one I have been going to 5 or 6 years! So, I went there for a while then got the nerve to go back to my old doctor. I went there for a while then something happend I got up to look at the chart then she fliped out. Then sent me to the hospital I got diagnosed with PTSD and depression. Then they discharged me to some assholes care. Then I got my GP to prescribe me some meds like wellbutrin. I was in the hospital for my chest, they took some x-rays and some ekg's. Then my parents slipped a CB agonist into my drink. I already had scar tissue on my heart it could have ripped! I mean well butrin up-regulates the D5 receptor or it wouldn't make my penis so small. I told someone what happened then they commit ed me and i got called Schizophrenic. I have no symptoms for god sake. He would not tell me why he thought that all he would say is he dose not argue. So i guess he dose not make rational arguments. He has no medical reason for it is what it is. So, he's causing me harm Neron loss and depression and its a misdiagnosis. So i guess i could sue him. WTF is going on why dose this keep happening. I told him about my plan and shit. You think hes jealous? IDK wtf. OMG i wish i had friends rite now.

Sorry for the poor writing methods and poor structure. I just dont feel like doing it for something some one will not believe.

[LizerLife]

Why is no one replying? I mean no one even investigated! And at this point and time the concept of psychosis and schizophrenia is just a theory that morons take as a fact. Its just plain unscientific at this point. It would be something with communication between the neo cortex and the visual parts of or auditory parts of the brain. It would not could not be a activity problem or a dopamine problem. Because it would need so much excitement would FRY your brain! Its a proven concept! THEN we have catabolic components to all neurotransmitters! If we could do it would be short and never happen again. A large number of people lieing and them believing them is not a test or any part of the scientific method. Testing is there is no test you cant see how the brain communicates with a PET scan. But you can detect lies within reasonable accuracy with a VSAT.
My hypothesis is people just don't care.

[Phi]

i would suggest trying new docs, cross referencing your symptoms or diagnosis(s) with new people, checking out some of the numerous support groups out there, and laying off the foreign substancss

[LizerLife]

I never used them chronically so it being there fault is highly unlikely. And another thing... These meds CAN NOT be re-uptake inhibitors because the chemical CAN NOT tell the difference between a used chemical and a re-used chemical and a fresh chemical. I mean the way the neurotransmitters circulate in the brain and the blood you can't tell whats being re-used and whats not.

That's what I'm planing on doing... Thanks...

[lucid_dream]

I never used them chronically so it being there fault is highly unlikely. And another thing... These meds CAN NOT be re-uptake inhibitors because the chemical CAN NOT tell the difference between a used chemical and a re-used chemical and a fresh chemical. I mean the way the neurotransmitters circulate in the brain and the blood you can't tell whats being re-used and whats not.

That's what I'm planing on doing... Thanks...

you clearly do not understand what a re-uptake inhibitor is.

[Jakare]

To get some scar tissue going I was really aiming for my brain. I would family was outside my window while I was doing this but you wouldn't believe me.

That was a really bad idea. You´re clearly overstimating scar tissue and i tell you what, is not something you want for your brain.
It does look like you have had glorified scar tissue but that was just an assumption. For example, do you know about a cerebral structure called "substantia nigra"? well it basically consist on a few hundred thousands of neurons specialized on metabolizing dopamine. If it happens that you manage to kill enough of them you will develop parkinson symptoms and your life expentance will be drastically reduced.
About the rest of the brain nearly every neuron you kill will be most probably replaced by astroglia and those dont work the same as neurons im afraid.
If you feel like to do as Phi tells you, then go to a new doctor but dont find excuses if their diagnostic is overall the same and take what they prescribe to you.

what ever literally almost kills you makes you better after you heal.

Only if you do heal.
But thats another assumption you have taken as a general truth that is more normally used for psychology and when you talk about the inmune system or bones. But the fact is there is no guaranty that the final result will be something better but for sure you will be different than before, and different implies equal, weaker or unhealthy aswell.

Dont get me wrong here but take into account that if you dont realize you are schizophrenic when you actually are you will be exposed to particularly strong thoughts that you will be prone to take as certainties.

You asked for opinions and i did my best. I hope you can find something you could use.
Regards.

[maximus242]

holy shit.. that is one hell of a life story