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> Gaps in the mind and thought process, A guide through understanding meditation
post Apr 03, 2007, 11:03 PM
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Please take the time to read this, this is one of a few longer "essays" I have written on this topic, and I'm hoping some of you could read it and comment on it. I know it's long but please it may interest some of you looking to broaden your horizons of meditation. My guess is it will hardly get read and I will have to try different forums. i know this probably should belong in the journal but i want more exposure.

Gap in the mind - An interpretation of a path to a higher place


Define mind:
(*note that these definitions are limited and there are other interpretations I could have mentioned)

Mind could also be considered thoughts and your thought process, and how attached to it you are. What I mean by attachment is how much do you think, opposed to how much control you have over the rate at which you think. There are many who can go 10 minutes without a single thought passing by. They are just so completely aware in the moment experiencing a deep bliss and happiness many do not experience with attachment to thought. So the more mind you have, the more attached to thoughts you are, the less space you have to breath and grow. You will feel suffocated inside, like there are better places to go, but you will be trapped because of the conditioning imposed on you through your uprising (parents, environment, society, education).

Define egoic self:

The egoic self consists of the mind, but also attachment to emotion and feelings. The egoic self becomes addicted to sex, drugs, and the desire to feel good. All of these desires keep the ego in tact. Feelings on the egoic level are not as great as the feelings of the higher self. They are more shallow, dense, superficial, temporary, and uncontrollable. The feelings go from up to down without you even being aware of it.

The egoic self also does not have as much control over it's destiny, and cannot really understand free will. It is boxed in a cage that needs to be realized and transcended in order for it to create it's future with much control.

Define higher self:

The higher self feels space within him. This space allows him to move around freely without any obstacles. He watches as the obstacles pass by him, as he feels content with himself. He also feels blissful, a bliss that has a depth no egoic self can experience. He also has enhanced creativity, self-expression, openness towards others. He wants to make people feel good, no matter how much they hate him. His experiences have proven him to be wise with his words and people will listen.

The higher self has many capabilities - extrasensory perception, third-eye awakenings, astral travel, OBE's, seeing everything as energy, being aware of micro/macro-cosmic consciousness, and on and on and on. . .

Section I - What is the mind, the egoic self, and the higher self

What is "gap of mind", or "emptiness", and how does emptiness relate with "fullness"?

When I say "gap of mind", I refer to the feeling of freedom, like you are just about to gamble away $10,000. This gap of mind is like when one has been meditating for 5 hours, and they are totally thoughtless, yet so aware and blissful. There may be thoughts, but they will hardly come because you have created a gap, a silence, or stillness from that 5 hours of meditation. This is what I mean by the gap.

Within the gap of the mind there is a space that feels so open, blissful, compassionate, and gives you profound expansive realizations that far exceed the understanding of the lower self, or egoic self, the self that does not contain the gaps in thought. To have a gap filled mind is to feel clouds of thought float away into the horizon until you are experiencing nothing but blue sky, sun, and bliss. To have a gap-less mind is being in the clouds, and seeing through the clouds. How can you see through clouds? You must meditate, and break through the clouds so you can see the blue sky and sun in day, and the stars and moon at night.

To have a gap in your mind and in your thought process is to feel nothing but silence, space, bliss, and free will. To not have any gaps in your thoughts you are just one long thought process, and it feels as though you are trapped in a cage you so desire to escape. This is because you are so conditioned to thinking so much, you are so used to it, that it becomes hard to stop the thoughts and feel bliss. You do not feel peaceful, silent, open, and blissful when you do not have any gaps between your thought. You are really feeling caged in by the thought process you can't transcend and are ignorant of until you begin to realize through meditation.

Meditation allows you to transcend the clouds of thought until you feel you have risen above the clouds and can feel the infiniteness and emptiness of space and consciousness. Now this this feeling of emptiness is the same concept as the gap in the mind, or same feeling. It is the feeling of bliss and enlightenment, and tuning into a different vibration where things are not so limited, and you experience a greater connection with others. It will take you to a place of fullness, where fullness and emptiness are one. Taoists will make love and they will feel their bodies melt and form into one ball of energy, and bliss. This was the practice of the ancient Taoist's art of Sexual Kung Fu. And this pure energy you feel comes through the gap in your mind that you have cultivated and practiced on a daily basis through being in meditation with as much awareness as possible. So how does emptiness relate with fullness? There is no difference, the more you become empty of mind and thought the more you become full of being and realization.

Is there a limit to this "emptiness" or "fullness"?

When the gap has been realized and meditated upon, it grows, so no. The gap in your mind grows and expands and you begin realizing more expanded things. you feel as though you are not limited to your physical body and mind, and that there are higher levels of awareness you can attain (higher selves). Sat-gurus have expanded far beyond their bodies, so far that the egoic mind could not understand or comprehend. Because it is beyond language and concept.

Explore the limits, meditate, let clouds of thought be not of you, but separate from you. Know that you are nothing and everything, only if you are not your thoughts. Feel the silence and space within, and let it flower until you realize yourself. Self-realization is being in meditation, it is being in the gap between thoughts, in the silence and emptiness.

How does thought effect how I develop this "higher self"?

When living life through the higher self there is an awareness which exceeds that of the ordinary mind and thought process. It does not experience thought like the egoic mind does. Thoughts are not of the real you, the higher self, the awareness which does not consist of thinking all of the time and being so attached to it. Perceiving through the higher self, thoughts are floating around you, but you are not perceiving through the clouds, you are perceiving through the space between the clouds.

You can see the clouds, but you can't be blinded by them, because you are not in them. You are not in the thought cloud. The thought cloud is of fear, hopelessness, blindness, and lack of energy and bliss. Everything will be cloudy and depressing, lacking of life, energy, and possibilities. The higher self speaks through the emptiness/fullness, and not through the cloudy ego. The higher self speaks with unlimited supply of energy, creativity, self-expression, love, happiness, compassion, and connection. It allows you to connect to those who are on the same path as you, and form deep relationships that never stop helping to evolve your being into so much more.

Could you give a better explanation on what the difference is between the egoic self (the gap-less mind), and the higher self (gap-filled mind)?

Let me give an example of somebody who perceives reality through the egoic self, the gap-less mind. This person is always bored, does not have energy, is not motivated, and so on. This person has his ups and downs. Because the ego consists of ups and downs, there is a duality which prevents unity. Even though there is an up, the fear of the down is what really makes this a limited mind incapable of experiencing much greater things. The egoic self is a cloudy sky. Sometimes the sun cracks through and sometimes it rains.

Now for an example of the higher self. The higher self has no cloudy sky to see through, the sun shines and the feeling of the sun energizes you and makes you feel complete. The higher self is connected with nature, and realizes all is energy. It meditates so it can visualize through the third eye the workings of energy within our body and the universe. The higher self has no limits. No limits to thought, creativity, self-expression, and the way we connect with people. People will feel the bliss you experience, and they will want to be around you because of it. It will give you feelings of joy, and you will not stop climbing the pyramid of loving yourself and others with the deepest love you could never imagine unless you have experienced it. The higher self is the blue sky, with the odd cloud passing by. But the higher self will not get trapped in this cloud, the cloud could be used as thought,expression,creation, and evolution.

So meditation takes me to this higher self on the path to enlightenment. Is this hard?

Meditation is simple, it is just developing the patience to be able to sit for extended periods of time with a blank mind and a straight back. At first it is hard because there are many thoughts, but before you know it, the gaps will set in and there will be less thought you have to focus your awareness on.

Meditation must be done on a daily basis for rising effects and so it becomes easier over time. Meditation will be a challenge at first, it will feel uncomfortable and you will have to get your back adjusted through simple Hatha yoga back stretches, and realize that the uncomfortable feeling is impermanent and will vanish with practice. You will have to get over the feeling that the meditation is not working. Because trust me (I know from experience), after 2 years of meditation you will feel it working profoundly, and your life will begin changing at an exponential rate for the good. For some it may not take 2 years, some may notice profound results after 3-6 months of meditation if you haven't started off slow and can handle the grief of the beginning stages of meditation. You also have to do your research - read the words of enlightened ones and the clarity will come faster. Don't read the words of those with no experience, because they will only bring you back to your egoic self.

Start off slow with the meditation, so you don't break into the habit of skipping days of meditation. This is important. Start off at 5 minutes in the morning and night until you are comfortable with it. Next practice 10 minutes in the morning and night. Do it until you are comfortable and no longer feels like meditating is a "choir" or a hassle. Wait until the thought of meditation is exciting and like you are going somewhere you have never been before within your mind. Let those feelings build, and increase the amount of minutes you spend meditating in the day. Meditation is most effective in the morning. Many people meditate for an hour before they wake up, and claim that it makes the day profoundly greater, and every day after that. Some experienced meditators claim to be enlightened through an hour of meditation a day in the morning and with the right diet. But this comes with experience. Some learn quick, and some slow. That is why I am writing this, so maybe some people will be able to have a better understanding of meditation and why it is so important. That is, if you are not already beyond me.

20 minutes of meditation in the morning is all you need to transform you life on earth, and start feeling a lot happier and energetic, and all the things the higher self consists of. For best results, wake up very early when the sun is just coming up (i hear 4 in the morning is perfect). That is how you raise your awareness quickly and learn quickly so you can speed up your growth at an exponential rate.

end for now

hopefully much more to come.... i'm hoping to add a wide variety of subjects in this novel i want to once complete (beginners guide to meditation) - until then it's just short writings..

please give me your criticism, i need it and all of the perspectives that go against it. i need your views if you oppose, and i need explanation. this will all add to the story. also if you think i should improve something just mention it.
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post Apr 04, 2007, 05:50 PM
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Interesting. You misspelled the word chore in the penultimate paragraph. An exponential rate (in the last sentence) is a strong claim. Can you back it up? Best to define what you mean by exponential first (e.g. doubles every month). Exponential rates of increase usually can't be sustained.
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post Apr 04, 2007, 08:06 PM
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"chore", "penultimate paragraph"?

Maybe exponential rate is a strong claim. Glad you mentioned. Should have said, you will keep climbing the stairs instead of tumbling back down them.
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post Apr 05, 2007, 06:47 AM
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You said "choir" instead of chore, in the second from last paragraph.
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post Feb 20, 2011, 06:55 PM
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Thanks for posting this essay. I have been trying to comprehend what you are calling "looking through the clouds myself. For me it started when I was in stress. I used meditation and philosophy in order to try to understand what it means to a be a person. I have had my ups and downs. Also, from the start I was very skeptical of everything I tried. I read many articles and I wanted it to be true, however, looking back this "want" turned into another clouded ego over my perception.

In my down periods this would cause intense headaches. I went to doctor for the headaches and talked to people for information. None of them could help or understand completely what I was going through. The head aches would recede after a month or the stress in my life was gone. About two years later, which is now, another stressful event came into my life. The headaches returned. I tried something different and started to relate my feelings and past experiences to the pain in my head. This is bad explanation I know but its the only way I know how to express what I did. Doing this brought out a lot of experiences of my past my childhood which i was unable to remember before this point. This was due to memory suppression because i had very unhappy mid-childhood.
The first night it was interesting I had never remember so much. I remember the events my thoughts. I kept bringing out my memories. It was the only thing that would allow me to concentrate and relax. The next day I was talking to a friend and became defensive when talking about my future. I became mad and emotional. I went back home and broke down. I was trying to be so nice to people and I failed. I had big plans to travel more learn how to program so I could freelance the world. i realized my plans were just another ego that was making people mad and maybe jealous at my ambitions. i did not want to argue about this with my friends. I did not want this. Seeing my friend angry made me realized that my plans were not more important than the people around me.
That night, I went blank I was upset my head hurt and I could do was recall past experiences. I did not know what to do. i couldn't even talk to my girlfriend. My goals and career made me happy however this ego self was harming relations with people who were close to me. I think this could of been what is called a mental breakdown in the medical fields. i couldn't sleep I went about 8 hours of just laying on my bed. there was so much sorrow in seeing all of the experiences that i could of been a better person. i could of been more nice. Not such an ass to the people who cared about me.

Day 3 i felt weird when I woke up I slept 3 hours felt energetic yet I still felt weird but functional to go to my college classes. This sounds weird but I started to realize that all of my thoughts correspond to a feeling in my body. My past experiences that i suppressed and not examined was corresponding to the feeling in my head; a.k.a. the headache. i wasn't sure if I was crazy or needed help or if this was normal. I remember back to reading about kundalini and enlightenment. So i read some more about ego death. This helped because it was true i could feel theses thoughts they were ego. Even the thought process I used for self examination was ego. My thoughts were ego and I could feel them pushing and pulling. Or this is what i call the normal person. we thought spasm. All the time. we let are thoughts control us. Even if they are not logical or sensible.

The next few days i examined my thoughts. i observed how my thoughts and beliefs in the present were rooted in the memories of my past and childhood. for example, my desire to be better than my peers came from the ridicule during my childhood. i also observed how these thoughts and memories reacted to present and then became the emotional reaction in how I would address people in my everyday life. when i would observe i realized the observation was not from any kind of thinking. When I realized this I started laughing. When the thought came into my head its like i am looking at my thoughts this must be the third eye. During this time i would get lost back in ego and then go back into observation. The observation was hazy I could feel the world and the beauty behind the headaches and the feelings, or what i realized were thoughts. This was the first time started to feel this. This again is hard to explain, i am trying not to talk in metaphors, but its hard to explain this in words. I also understand that metaphors for me when i was first exposed to enlightenment books, essays, and form post made me think the information was false and seemed to come from a cult or something crazy like that. I know now its just an effort to explain something that is hard to express in our language of today, logical terms, or science. Maybe one day I can write a full paper that is backed with studies after i finish my studies smile.gif

After all of this. I found this particular form post. I read it and it really hit home for me, so to speak. Before i was concentrated on just observing my thoughts and reactions in order to understand their roots and why I react the ways I do. However, what helped me in your post was to concentrate on the more on the emptiness. One thing I have learned seeing threw one of our many egos makes us quite sad at first. Its hard to let go of what you have always thought of being the most important thing to your life. However, after observing myself in action I have seen ego or the uncontrolled thoughts cause much anger, sadness, and misunderstanding to the myself and the people close to me to many times. i guess now I am just done with the the downs of life even if the ego can give make us feel on top of the world for a short time. For me it was just time to face my fear and the death of my ego self; which hasn't died quite for me yet smile.gif

So mind.expansion thank you for posting this because now I will continue to look through my thoughts but also understand them too. I feel better and better even right now as I am writing this, while my focus shifts from thoughts to the real world. Thanks again! cheers to anyone reading this. And i do apologize in advance to all of the grammar errors and metaphors if they cause any confusion or for other people... here is my ego again: If they actually upset you. I am sorry.
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