| hollywoodsnoopy |
May 22, 2005, 12:59 PM
Post
#1
|
|
Overlord ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Basic Member Posts: 445 Joined: Mar 17, 2005 From: Wisconsin Member No.: 4306 |
Confidence lacking
Favor waning Desperate thoughts Unkind virtue End nearing Future ceased Blood lost Serenity gained Selfish act Wounded heart Nothing left Mind numb Torturous life Save yourself Release problems Begin anew Future returns New exsistence Shared soul Mind freed Torture away Smiles purity Happy being Change lasts Eyes open Time now |
![]() ![]() |
| +Steven Curtis Lance |
May 22, 2005, 01:27 PM
Post
#2
|
![]() Supreme God ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Poet in Residence Posts: 8553 Joined: Jan 22, 2003 From: Perris, CA USA Member No.: 449 |
Two words, indeed; I like the two word line structure, as I find an immediacy, an urgency of expression of awakening to the now.
I love the ending: Eyes open Time now A very effective poem, one among so many today... Every happiness to you, dear friend and fellow wanderer. Love, +Stevie |
| hollywoodsnoopy |
May 22, 2005, 02:19 PM
Post
#3
|
|
Overlord ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Basic Member Posts: 445 Joined: Mar 17, 2005 From: Wisconsin Member No.: 4306 |
Thanks Steven. You are always so gracious with compliments.
Nikki |
| Mandy Wood |
May 22, 2005, 07:27 PM
Post
#4
|
|
Demi-God ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Basic Member Posts: 513 Joined: Dec 11, 2004 From: Wisconsin, USA Member No.: 4143 |
I like it as well, it's different and says so much in such few words. Wonderful.
|
| Hey Hey |
May 23, 2005, 08:29 AM
Post
#5
|
![]() Supreme God ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Basic Member Posts: 7763 Joined: Dec 31, 2003 Member No.: 845 |
Just great! The configuration captures such atmosphere. And glad there seemed to be a happy ending (?)
|
| misty_tears |
May 23, 2005, 10:44 AM
Post
#6
|
|
Demi-God ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Basic Member Posts: 911 Joined: Apr 12, 2004 Member No.: 1979 |
great lines indeed.
misty.. |
| hollywoodsnoopy |
May 23, 2005, 11:50 AM
Post
#7
|
|
Overlord ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Basic Member Posts: 445 Joined: Mar 17, 2005 From: Wisconsin Member No.: 4306 |
Thanks to you all for reading and for the positive feedback. Yes, Hey Hey it does have a happy ending.
Nikki |
![]() ![]() |
| Lo-Fi Version | Time is now: 22nd May 2013 - 02:31 AM |