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dream
post Dec 26, 2008, 12:38 PM
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I am at a loss for will. I just cant find myself-- I thought I had it all figured out. As a child, my dreams my accomplishments. Nothing has happened as I dreamed and I hate myself for it, I cant go back, and yet I havent the desire to move forward.

I just want to live. Really live. WHy is this so hard for me? When I look into the mirror I see nothing, everything is a let down, everybody has hurt me, everything about this life is pain!

Its impossible to love another when you cant love yourself. How do people do it? How do they get out of bed in the morning, how do they let go?

How do I kill my past? How do I kill the demons that haunt me? How do I take back my mind and accept that I am part of the bigger reality?

How do I find my way?
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Joesus
post Dec 26, 2008, 12:49 PM
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QUOTE(dream @ Dec 26, 2008, 08:38 PM) *

I am at a loss for will. I just cant find myself-- I thought I had it all figured out. As a child, my dreams my accomplishments. Nothing has happened as I dreamed and I hate myself for it, I cant go back, and yet I havent the desire to move forward.

I just want to live. Really live. WHy is this so hard for me? When I look into the mirror I see nothing, everything is a let down, everybody has hurt me, everything about this life is pain!

Its impossible to love another when you cant love yourself. How do people do it? How do they get out of bed in the morning, how do they let go?

How do I kill my past? How do I kill the demons that haunt me? How do I take back my mind and accept that I am part of the bigger reality?

How do I find my way?

Realize yourself in the dream of the present moment. There is your success.
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dream
post Dec 26, 2008, 04:57 PM
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QUOTE(Joesus @ Dec 26, 2008, 12:49 PM) *

QUOTE(dream @ Dec 26, 2008, 08:38 PM) *

I am at a loss for will. I just cant find myself-- I thought I had it all figured out. As a child, my dreams my accomplishments. Nothing has happened as I dreamed and I hate myself for it, I cant go back, and yet I havent the desire to move forward.

I just want to live. Really live. WHy is this so hard for me? When I look into the mirror I see nothing, everything is a let down, everybody has hurt me, everything about this life is pain!

Its impossible to love another when you cant love yourself. How do people do it? How do they get out of bed in the morning, how do they let go?

How do I kill my past? How do I kill the demons that haunt me? How do I take back my mind and accept that I am part of the bigger reality?

How do I find my way?

Realize yourself in the dream of the present moment. There is your success.


by doing this how does this enable me to forgive/let go of the past that haunts me, usually comes up as a "pain-body" as Tolle likes to put it...
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Joesus
post Dec 26, 2008, 05:28 PM
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All dreams are formed into manifestation by the distinction of intent dropped into the unmanifest absolute.
Once you realize the perfection of order within the desire that is owned through self awareness and cognition you begin to refine your thoughts and gain an appreciation for the steps taken toward that cognition in awareness of self created reality.
In other words once you become aware that you created the past there is a greater appreciation of what you have learned from the steps you created to get you to this point in self awareness.
No point in cutting off your feet if you trip is there?
It's good to be intelligent about how we think, rather than to just give all thought and desire to random chaotic impulses of some cruel god or the cruelty of a lack of one in the universe that is out to get you because it doesn't have anything better to do.

You do have a choice to see the glass half empty of half full. If you base everything on how you feel and your feelings change daily you base your existence on a roller coaster of identification with feelings. The human intellect is much more capable than that.

You are only a victim if you want to be, but then that is just an illusion of perception based on a thought or belief.
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Phi
post Dec 26, 2008, 07:00 PM
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The only way I feel happy is creating what I can in the moment. I started by taking care of my body, and I kept aligned with what I felt. I started taking problems head on; If I'm hungry: I'd eat, If I'm tired: sleep, hurt: rehabilitate. Then it extends to other areas, I'd like to see something change about something I don't like: I make the necessary changes.

Not everything will be able to be fixed in that moment but If you take care of what you know you can, you're already on your way to feeling happier; and, as you move along, you will see more opportunities to take advantage of. Those experiences in the past have made you the knowledgeable person you are today, now what will you choose to do with your experience and wisdom?

No matter how minuscule, what is the first thing you think you can change?
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Lindsay
post Dec 26, 2008, 07:49 PM
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Dream:

Have you heard of Eckhart Tolle? Google on his name.
Here are the names of two of his book's :

1. THE POWER OF THE NOW--A best seller of the New York Times.

2. A NEW EARTH--Awakening to Your Life's Purpose.
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dream
post Dec 27, 2008, 08:39 AM
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QUOTE(Joesus @ Dec 26, 2008, 05:28 PM) *

All dreams are formed into manifestation by the distinction of intent dropped into the unmanifest absolute.
Once you realize the perfection of order within the desire that is owned through self awareness and cognition you begin to refine your thoughts and gain an appreciation for the steps taken toward that cognition in awareness of self created reality.
In other words once you become aware that you created the past there is a greater appreciation of what you have learned from the steps you created to get you to this point in self awareness.
No point in cutting off your feet if you trip is there?
It's good to be intelligent about how we think, rather than to just give all thought and desire to random chaotic impulses of some cruel god or the cruelty of a lack of one in the universe that is out to get you because it doesn't have anything better to do.

You do have a choice to see the glass half empty of half full. If you base everything on how you feel and your feelings change daily you base your existence on a roller coaster of identification with feelings. The human intellect is much more capable than that.

You are only a victim if you want to be, but then that is just an illusion of perception based on a thought or belief.


since I created my past, how can I rewrite it in terms of what I beleive to be true and not, ie my subjective interpretation of the past as I see myself as a victim, to myself, others, situations...then when I drink (seldom, but yes sometimes I do) I try to take back that wrong, that control and I act like a lunatic, hellbent of self destruction...fo crying out loud the other night I was near harlem and begging some local hoods to shoot me in the face! if it is all an illusion, all self created, then why cant I let it go, why cant I believe in the now, and forgive myself and let go
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dream
post Dec 27, 2008, 08:41 AM
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QUOTE(Phi @ Dec 26, 2008, 07:00 PM) *



No matter how minuscule, what is the first thing you think you can change?


My thoughts..until something occurs to set off the domino effect of anger, frustration, anxiety and self destruction/hate
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dream
post Dec 27, 2008, 08:43 AM
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QUOTE(Lindsay @ Dec 26, 2008, 07:49 PM) *

Dream:

Have you heard of Eckhart Tolle? Google on his name.
Here are the names of two of his book's :

1. THE POWER OF THE NOW--A best seller of the New York Times.

2. A NEW EARTH--Awakening to Your Life's Purpose.



I have read a New Earth 3 times and The Power of Now once, working on a New Earth for the 4th time...
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Joesus
post Dec 27, 2008, 10:43 AM
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QUOTE(dream @ Dec 27, 2008, 04:39 PM) *



since I created my past, how can I rewrite it in terms of what I beleive to be true and not, ie my subjective interpretation of the past as I see myself as a victim, to myself, others, situations...then when I drink (seldom, but yes sometimes I do) I try to take back that wrong, that control and I act like a lunatic, hellbent of self destruction...fo crying out loud the other night I was near harlem and begging some local hoods to shoot me in the face! if it is all an illusion, all self created, then why cant I let it go, why cant I believe in the now, and forgive myself and let go

One cannot surrender the past without a greater experience than the past. That greater experience would be the now. It isn't something you can conceptualize with the mind because the other thoughts of past and future will be just as strong of a thought.
The presence of the now underlies all thoughts, and it is the essence of who you are and where the thoughts come from. It in itself is pure and without contradiction. It is the ego which colors it as it flows around and through the senses of the human nervous system.
The neural pathways created from the 60,000 thoughts we think a day in belief, fear, opinion and projection from past experiences, are well trodden paths of identification.
The mind has to be given a greater experience of itself to turn in a different direction and to begin to create another route, or to cut new neural pathways of thought and experience.

Abraham Maslow discovered when the left and right hemispheres align in what is called a "peak experience" the body achieves a deep state of rest, the mind is not firing chaotically back and forth in the impulses of past and future thoughts. The mind becomes stilled into the present moment. It is when the mind comes out of that experience that it places its habitual identifications of where it has been, what it felt and saw or heard. But when the mind is seated in the pure stillness of now there is no thought, but a state of pure being. It is what Eastern philosophy describes as "Bliss" or what Western spirituality calls the state of "communion." You can have a thought of it but "it" itself is not a thought, "it," "The Now" is beyond all thought and experience, one experiences reflections of it.

It is easy enough to take the mind inward to recreate the same coherence of the left and right hemisphere discovered and studied by Maslow in his research of the peak experience.
Tolle speaks of the Now and the Power of Now but he awakened to it without any memory or knowledge of how the mind got there. For him there was no systematic approach, he just fell into it. He and Krishnamurti easily describe the now but do not, and have not described the pathway to the now. They have described their experience of it and Tolle described his experience before discovering it. But Krishnamurti was born with the awareness of it and it was for him his greatest experience.

For most who wish to get there listening to the description of it does not give them the experience of it nor does it tell them how to systematically turn the mind inward to recreate the coherence of the peak experience.
Same as listening to someone describe Paris does not take you to Paris.

Mostly the human mind in this world is addicted to identification with things and ideas and the ego tries to make itself the authority because it fears the self identification of failure and grasps heavily onto the idea of instant gratification.
The ego will try to make things happen from ideas and descriptions of ideal thoughts of belief in reality. It will try to create an experience of Paris by reading about Paris or hearing a description of Paris. This is the downfall of every religion steeped in belief and preached from the pulpits of Non Experience.

Unless the mind is drawn away from all thought and renewed in the stillness beyond all thought so the mind and body can achieve both a deep state of rest and throw off the stresses of beliefs and impressions, as well as chemical stresses in the cellular structure of the body achieved by deep states of rest, the mind and body tires and ages and eventually gets sick and dies.

By systematically taking the mind inward, aligning the left and right hemispheres of the brain to begin cutting new neural pathways of thought in both experience and awareness of something greater than the stresses of the past and the projections of the future, and by immersing the mind in the now, the old pathways are abandoned and the stresses within the nervous system are released and healed.

This is different than hypnosis or trying to place a positive affirmation on top of old beliefs. Different than trying to place the idea of Paris in the mind without the experience of Paris.

Adding new thoughts from the surface of the mind to replace the negative thoughts can only create more stress if the new thought is created within the experiences of the stress of the mind desiring to escape its present experience. The mind in stressful activity is not a clear mind and any thought generated from a mind or suggested to the mind that is not still and clear is born of illusion and identification with duality of fear and hope, a mind that feels lost.

There are techniques derived from greater levels of awareness, historically passed down from master to student in traditions of enlightenment and spiritual union. The Science of Yoga is such a traditional course of action.
Unfortunately Eastern Philosophy like Western Philosophy has become mired in the egoic beliefs of identification with personality and opinion so that the nature of Truth beyond the relative ideals of personality and opinion have become both distorted and poo pooed. In the criticism of failure by the ego to achieve the promised results of One pointed faith and discipline to take the mind systematically inward the typical authority standing outside of the experience of Stillness rejects a Truth absolute and worships only relative truths.

The ego wishes to control and manipulate through its ideas of what should be and how it should be. The ego always gets in the way of the natural progression of expanding consciousness as it fails to recognize the very ideas that keep awareness locked in limitation of self prescribed idealism.
One who is invested in thoughts that are habitually destructive to the growth in awareness and liberation from identifications of belief and opinion that do not expand but lock the awareness into limitation, cannot free ones self from themself.
If one could, one would not remain stuck, but would easily recognize when they are following thoughts that are based on fear and self destructive identification, and then turn the awareness toward something much greater.
If the mind is locked in belief where nothing is greater than the destructive thoughts, it has no recourse but to surrender itself to its own beliefs in failure and hopelessness. Any thought or belief that is going to change and lose its stability in the diversity of personality is a potentially destructive thought, for it only distracts one from the underlying Now. Even thoughts of happiness relative to sensory addictions distract the mind from the NOW.

A person who has experienced the expansion of consciousness within the peak experience Maslow describes finds their lives changed by the experience, but if the mind cannot return to that experience by intention it succumbs to the inevitable surrender to habit and belief.

Hypnosis can sometimes distract the mind by helping it in achieving an altered state, but it does nothing to throw off the stresses within the nervous system both chemical and psychological, accumulated and locked into place by the underlying thoughts and experiences of its relative changing truths in reality.
A man who attempts to live in an ideal thought surrounded by the invasive opposing thoughts of reality lives behind castle walls that are easily sundered over time and with the loss of health and vitality.

One has to rise above the duality of belief to experience themselves and life, at a greater level of experience and awareness than belief and egoic identification of fear and opinion.
This is the Science of Yoga or Union.
It is a systematic approach of the mind to refine the awareness and attention to what is real and True, rather than fleeting and changing as are beliefs and ideals of the ego.

In the past people have been lobotomized or thrown into mental institutions for treatment, sometimes heavily drugged to dull the mind so that it cannot run amok within the delusions of fear based realities. This has been the failure of Western sciences without the knowledge of spiritual understanding and experience of anything real or substantial within the mind that does not change and which is the same for all human experience. Because the ego and its beliefs are so diverse the science of the mind does not recognize the potential of the absolute within the awareness of human psychology.
Science only recognizes what catches its attention and that is the diversity of personality and through limited awareness of belief it studies that which makes the biggest splash.
The Science of Human psychology is often trying to control the chemical images of what it calls normal and abnormal with drugs to place bandaids upon the nervous system. The Psychological sciences without the experience or awareness of who or what it means to be human can only observe from a platform of knowledge created by the observer standing on the outside within the shell of personality and ego. It is the mind never having been to Paris deciding what someone looks like and behaves after being to Paris. Then prescribing all necessary actions and ideals on how to live after experiencing Paris. Observing the mind from opinion and belief is not a very effective authority.

Spiritual Science however, has for the last 5000 years of recorded human history and even beyond that and into the prerecorded history of Western civilization in Sciences, known and practiced the refinement of awareness to systematically refine the senses to that which is in every human being and has and always will pervade all time and space.
The absolute consciousness within the universe. The experience of Bliss which is the mind stilled beyond the chaos of thought and identification that changes with belief created by egoic limitation. Praying without ceasing as it was described by the Teachings of Jesus in Western spirituality.

When one goes beyond the woo woo or the superstition created by fear and doubt so heavily prescribed by science and social mores drowned in belief and opinion, the mind is more innocent and open to possibility. The mind that is willing to see the glass half full rather than half empty may begin to approach something different than that which is accepted blindly as truth because someone has said it was truth. When one experiences truth it is more than a thought or a belief piled high in and amongst the unlimited amount of experiences and beliefs that are sometimes fulfilling. When one finds something that is always fulfilling and continues to expand rather than fade away with the trends and beliefs of Egoic human fickleness, one finds relief from the instability of judgments directed to a past that no longer exists.
The Science of Yoga is the culmination of experience and knowledge practiced and documented as unchanging within the changing times, and civilizations of the world. It has remained as mans greatest knowledge and will help stabilize the human in times of outward instability of governmental policies and scientific achievements that threaten the earths ability to sustain life.

If you are interested in such a discipline I can point you in a direction.
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Lindsay
post Dec 27, 2008, 11:27 AM
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QUOTE
I have read a New Earth 3 times and The Power of Now once, working on a New Earth for the 4th time...
Whenever I read a book worth reading I always underline words and ideas that attract my attention. If you do the same: Tell me some of the words and ideas you have marked.

Using some of the blank pages, I also write a summary and add questions and ideas which come to my mind.

Keep in mind that ET is not telling us just to think positively and try to force ourselves to feel happy in the face of all circumstances. Our role in not just to fight the ego, but to observe what it is, "a blue print for dysfunction" and how it makes you feel, happy or sad.(P. 13, A New Earth)

Over the years I have been a student and a teacher of the art of meditation. I taught it, and still do, as part of a program I call PNEUMATOLOGY--studying the nature and function of the spirit--human and divine. Invariably, many students would comment: "I find it impossible to make my mind blank" and then ask, "What do I do with the chatterbox inside my head? I can't keep my mind on one idea; it just keeps flitting all over the place like butterflies in a flower garden."

I told them what I tell myself, even today:

"Think of your mind, your psyche, as behaving like a very mobile, very active and chatty young child. Sometimes a child can be very happy; sometimes very fussy, sad and, often, angry. Young children are naturally ego-centered and refuse to respond to reasonable arguments. As any parent knows, left to their own devices, young children can get into serious, even deadly, dangers; they can cause all kinds of problems, including burning down the house.

"The solution? Young children need constant attention and observation by, one or more, caring adults until they come to have enough personal and conscious awareness to look after themselves.

"What do we do with the ego? Here is what works for me: I bathe it in the light of consciousness."
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dream
post Dec 27, 2008, 01:14 PM
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QUOTE(Joesus @ Dec 27, 2008, 10:43 AM) *



If you are interested in such a discipline I can point you in a direction.



Yes, point me
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dream
post Dec 27, 2008, 01:16 PM
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QUOTE(Lindsay @ Dec 27, 2008, 11:27 AM) *

QUOTE
I have read a New Earth 3 times and The Power of Now once, working on a New Earth for the 4th time...
Whenever I read a book worth reading I always underline words and ideas that attract my attention. If you do the same: Tell me some of the words and ideas you have marked.

Using some of the blank pages, I also write a summary and add questions and ideas which come to my mind.

Keep in mind that ET is not telling us just to think positively and try to force ourselves to feel happy in the face of all circumstances. Our role in not just to fight the ego, but to observe what it is, "a blue print for dysfunction" and how it makes you feel, happy or sad.(P. 13, A New Earth)

Over the years I have been a student and a teacher of the art of meditation. I taught it, and still do, as part of a program I call PNEUMATOLOGY--studying the nature and function of the spirit--human and divine. Invariably, many students would comment: "I find it impossible to make my mind blank" and then ask, "What do I do with the chatterbox inside my head? I can't keep my mind on one idea; it just keeps flitting all over the place like butterflies in a flower garden."

I told them what I tell myself, even today:

"Think of your mind, your psyche, as behaving like a very mobile, very active and chatty young child. Sometimes a child can be very happy; sometimes very fussy, sad and, often, angry. Young children are naturally ego-centered and refuse to respond to reasonable arguments. As any parent knows, left to their own devices, young children can get into serious, even deadly, dangers; they can cause all kinds of problems, including burning down the house.

"The solution? Young children need constant attention and observation by, one or more, caring adults until they come to have enough personal and conscious awareness to look after themselves.

"What do we do with the ego? Here is what works for me: I bathe it in the light of consciousness."


thank you for the advice
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Lindsay
post Dec 27, 2008, 02:45 PM
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QUOTE
I am at a loss for will. I just can't find myself-- I thought I had it all figured out. As a child, my dreams my accomplishments. Nothing has happened as I dreamed and I hate myself for it, I cant go back, and yet I haven't the desire to move forward.

DREAM, Do NOT try hard, try EASY. You do not need to go BACK, or FORWARD. Just Be NOW!
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Lindsay
post Dec 27, 2008, 02:56 PM
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WILL HYPNOSIS HELP?
=====================
Often I have been asked: "What about hypnosis? Would it help me deal with my problem? It sounds so weird. I don't like the thought of others getting control of my mind."

Others will say: "Please, help me. Take over my mind. No one could possible make me feel worse than I now feel. Go ahead, have a go!"
================================================
As, noted elsewhere, James Braid--who invented the word hypnosis (based on the Greek for sleep), in 1843--later admitted that 'hypnosis' was a misnomer. It really did not describe what he later discovered the phenomenon to be all about--our coming to consciousness. He wrote that he wanted to change the name to 'monoideism'--paying attention to one idea. He was more interested in waking people up to the power within them, not putting them to sleep (hypnos).

ABOUT THE GNOSTICS
====================
With the modern emphasis on the value of science, and its pursuit of provable knowledge, the ancients Gnostics would be very much at home in modern times. They put a great deal of emphasis on the value of knowledge. Recent discoveries made by scholars regarding Gnosticism has given us a greater appreciation of the value of gnostic ideas. For them, knowledge--such as comes from spiritual insight--rather than faith, was the key to life's mysteries. I like to think of a sighted faith, not a blind one.

In the light of this, perhaps, instead of hypnosis, a good word for the process of reaching consciousness would be, 'autonosis'--a self-induced state of consciousness in which we are open to receive all the knowledge we need to be at-one-ment with GOD.
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post Dec 27, 2008, 04:41 PM
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Look for shooting stars on cloudless nights. They brought life, they sustain our lives.

Read and write poetry. It will tell you where you are and who you are.
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post Dec 29, 2008, 04:32 PM
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Keep a journal. Don't think too hard about what you are writing. Write whatever comes to mind. It's a release in times when you feel bottled up and isolated. Let the words flow from the Now. Write about your own ideas of truth. Then go back and challenge them.

"So you've got no friends and
You wander through the night
And now you watch the sunrise through a rifle-sight
Well don't believe in people who say it's all been done
They have time to talk because their race is run"
-Silver Jews, 'Advice to the Graduate'

Listen to music. It's poetry in both audio and idea form. It is an expression of truth. Getting lost in a song is like getting lost in the Now. Getting lost in a journal is the same. Any form of artistic expression or meditation can act as an expedient means to discover the truth you are searching for. Once you feel that peak experience, its as if truth has always been there, only hidden by distractions. The ego becomes exposed to the absolute. All of a sudden, the suffering seems silly and unnecessary.
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