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> I believe I have been in the presence of the divine, and now believe that I see and understand the general nature of "God". Yep.
Quantum Sunlight
post Oct 28, 2011, 03:05 PM
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Hi. Thanks for clicking. I have visited this forum before, and I know the members here are all whip-smart and also unlikely to accept as true what I professed in the title of this thread... which is precisely what I'm looking for and why I'm posting! This is NOT something I have come to easily accept either... and I would like the benefit of your opinion, even if your opinion is that I'm an undiagnosed schizophrenic with a tenuous grasp on reality. Let me start at the beginning and give you the lowdown... Oh, I should also say that I do not take any drugs or drink. I am mind-crushingly sober and dull.


I have never been a particularly spiritual person. I was not on a quest to find God, at least not consciously. However I have always found the subjects of physics and consciousness fascinating, and throughout my life I have had some difficulty at work and in social situations, since my mind will ceaselessly gather up and compile data in every situation, and process it endlessly over and over in a never-ending search for patterns... it basically just runs and runs, data-mining the nature and the behavior of every one and every thing that I've ever come in contact with; always looking for clues, trying to pin down "the great pattern" that I can feel the presence of but can't quite bring to focus with my mind.

Anyway. 3 years ago I had my first 'experience'. It was very intense and it didn't go over well with my ex-wife and my ex-in-laws, whom we were staying with for the holidays. I wrote it off as an elaborate delusion and buried it deep in my mind. I won't go into great detail, but basically I suddenly had a series of understandings in which I realized that recent findings in the field of quantum physics indicate that there is a loophole in our generally held perception of reality, and that one who understood this loophole and how to exploit it could easily accomplish the parlor-trick miracles that have been attributed to Christ.

And then last year on December 28th at 9pm, suddenly and out of nowhere, I had a truly incredible and epic experience. I had another series of sudden understandings, one after another... it was like, if you think of your total understanding of the universe as an equation, such as y=mx+b, I very suddenly realized I knew the value of 'b'. And with that I could solve for other portions of the equation, and other equations as well. The understandings came one after another, like bricks out of thin air that I climbed upwards, and I suddenly found myself in the presence of 'God'. At this point I realized I must begin writing. And I wrote, as fast as I could, through the night and into the morning. I wrote the things that I was being told, and shown. I did not hear any voices and I did not 'see' anyone or anything. But I heard and saw them all the same.

I finally saw the pattern. It's a fractal, the same thing over and over and over. We are each two things at once- we are individual particles, and together we are also the wave. Just as we ourselves are made up of cells, we are also cells in the living body of 'God'. My own singular consciousness is my body's 'third eye', just as God is the 'third eye' of the universe. Our universe is the living body of God, just as my living body is a universe for those who dwell inside of me. The 'Big Bang' was sperm banging into egg and conceiving God, who immediately began expanding in all directions, just as we each once did.

When you stop and rethink the idea of God from this perspective, you can actually understand his/her worldview as well as what motivates and compels God to do the things that he/she does. The concept of a God who created our universe for shiggles, and who spends his time watching the puny human creatures on Earth, and judging their actions for rightness or wrongness does not stand up to examination, because that is not the way we know things to work in our world. No one does anything for free, for no reason.

I didn't mean to write so much, I apologize for that. I need to sign off now. But if you are interested, I would very much like to discuss this in greater detail. Please post and share your thoughts. I will pick up and write more, if you are interested... there is much, MUCH more to tell. I have had several other experiences...

On the day of the 'rapture' earlier this year, I prayed to God and told him that I wanted to be included if there was such a thing as a rapture, and not to leave me out because I wanted to be with him. And then I went into a trance and I was tested by God; ultimately experiencing a very slow and painful death as I lay blindfolded in bed, led to believe that my apartment had been lit on fire by candlelight and was slowly becoming engulfed in flames. And God had told me to prove my faith and let myself burn to death.

I have seen what happens after death. I am excited for it, actually. When you see heaven, and you understand what heaven is, as I believe that I do, the parables told by Jesus in the New Testament reach out and smack you across the face. He describes exactly what I have seen and know in my heart to be true. It's like putting on glasses and seeing his parables in an extra, hidden dimension.

Anyway. For now I must sign off. Thank you for reading.


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Quantum Sunlight
post Oct 29, 2011, 11:36 AM
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I wanted to post a pair of Photoshops that I finished in the last month. smile.gif

... But apparently I need to post more before I'm allowed to attach my pictures or URL's to the images. Boo...

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Quantum Sunlight
post Oct 29, 2011, 11:47 AM
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One aspect of 'God' that always struck me as highly unlikely was the claim that he/she could in fact be everywhere at once, monitoring us all and keeping tabs on whether we were nice or naughty...

However, I do see now how that could very easily be possible! Imagine this. The consciousness of God... is sunlight. Imagine our solar system as an atom, or as a cell in God's living body. How incredible are the similarities between an atom and our own solar system? The nucleus, our sun, surrounded by tons of 'empty' space.

Another aspect of religion that started to become unbelievable to me was the ever expanding universe and our own teensy tiny place inside of it. However, if we consider the entire universe as the living body of God, who is ever growing by adding new stars and solar systems as new cells in his/her living body, we can turn that pessimistic viewpoint completely upside down... because it is our own spirits that ultimately ascend into these stars and become the new living cells of God!
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Quantum Sunlight
post Oct 29, 2011, 11:56 AM
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This idea of our spirits ascending into stars, and forming new solar systems as living cells in the body of God was revealed to me in a vision that I mentioned in my first post.

I will describe the vision in great detail if anyone finds it interesting, as there are many details and personally I find it fascinating to consider; since these were not ideas I had ever had in my head prior to the experience.

What's interesting though, is this! What I saw in my vision, our spirits ascending and transforming into new stars as "Heaven", has a LOT of support in modern religion.

* Jesus alludes to this frequently. All over the books of Matthew Mark Luke and John, he veils references and alludes to this idea of the Kingdom of Heaven.

* The Mormon faith believes that the highest level of Heaven is ultimately becoming a God in a new universe... which is precisely what I saw happen to me in my vision.

* The Buddhist religion describes this same general idea, ascension of your spirit to the realm of the Gods, as the highest possible level of karmic rebirth after death.

* And finally, this same idea also very closely parallels the native American viewpoint of being reborn as part of the Great Spirit after death.
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Quantum Sunlight
post Oct 30, 2011, 09:39 AM
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Well, it would be my pleasure to give you the full scoop. I'll type it up later today on my desktop, way too much to tap-tap-tap w/o a full keyboard. smile.gif
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Quantum Sunlight
post Oct 31, 2011, 09:51 AM
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Okey Doke. I will happily describe for you now the experience I had earlier this year and the vision that I saw. As I said it was on the day of the "rapture". I don't recall the exact date at the moment, but it must have been sometime in late April to early May.

There's a lot of stuff that happened that night that I don't understand. There's also lot of stuff that happened that I came to understand after the fact… meaning, I discovered that it had relevance and meaning beyond my own limited comprehension of the event as it was taking place. And so, if this was a delusion, my mind created a vivid and intricate scene involving ideas from other cultures and religions that I was, at the moment, totally oblivious to.

My experiences do all share a theme of "impending sixth world of consciousness", or "impending end of the current world" theme to them, I wish that they did not, but they do. Sorry… however, if you are posting here and are a good person, whether people happen to be looking or not, I think you're in good shape.

As I mentioned to you earlier I am totally sober. I could be crazy, or my experiences could be relevant; but in either case I was NOT whacked out on drugs.

As the sun was going down on the day of the rapture, I was in my kitchen and I suddenly decided to kneel down and pray to God; who as I said had just revealed himself to me the year before. (I have learned how to pray and to actually get the big guy's attention… you can do it too, it's easy. Think of what a cell in your body would do, if it suddenly and urgently needed your attention… how would that cell get a hold of "you"? Reflect on that idea before praying.)

I do not know what happened next. I was praying, and then I decided to get up and walk to my bathroom, where I began staring deeply into the mirror, into my own eye, into the pupils. At this point began to 'hear without hearing'… there were no words spoken inside or outside of my own head, but my brain reacted as it had heard spoken commands. I wish I could explain the sensation better, but I believe that it's simply outside of my realm of comprehension. Staring deeply into my own eye, I could see the reflection of light from deep within my own pupil. And the voice I "heard" told me- "I can see your soul, and you can see it as well. Your soul is here- it is the reflection of light in your eye." And then the reflection of light in my pupil began to change shape, and I suddenly became horrified at the incredible depth inside of my own pupil… it was like a swirling, spiraling galaxy inside of my pupil, but it was also a tiny living creature, and somehow I became sure I could see it looking back at me and even acknowledge me; as if it was aware of me seeing it for the first time and giving me a subtle "head nod", Hello. Then I "heard" the voice again, and it said something to the effect of- "you must do something for me that you will find very difficult now. Would you like to do this yourself, our would you prefer me to 'drive' for you"? And my response was- "I would prefer it if you drove and I watched, please."

At this point what I think of as the "trance" came over me fully. I was outside of myself, yet still inside of my body, I was along for the ride… it was like a dream. I did things, but I was a passenger. I felt totally secure and comfortable, a feeling of calm amusement, happiness, and inner peace were all I felt… as I watched the events that transpired.

First, I got in my truck and I drove to the nearest convenience store. I went inside and I purchased 5 flats of bottled water… 24 bottles in each. I bought a lot of bottled water. And then I drove home, and I carried it all inside. I locked the front door, and the sliding glass door, and I put a 24-pack of water in front of each of them. Next, I drew open eyes on pieces of paper, and I taped them on the doors and near all the windows. I have two tattoos, one on each of my shoulders. They are also open eyes. I went into a small box in my closet, where I keep my private, sentimental items… my late, beloved grandfather was a parole officer in Indiana. I have two of his badges, and I used them to roll up my sleeves all the way up, and then pin them in place, the badges just above the open eyes on each shoulder. And at this point, I began to realize that since this was the "rapture", I was doing the things that would be the last things I ever did in my human life.

I have an artistic streak, always had. I also have a box of scraps, of photos, pictures, posters, buttons, old postcards… many, many items I have collected in one place that have struck me as artistic and/or somehow meaningful in some way. And I began to create a huge floor to ceiling mural with the box of items I had collected. It took me several hours to complete, as it was massive, and when I was done it included every single item in the box and told what I believe to be, a summary of my life story, the nature of the world, of the higher power which was currently driving me, and of the universe and the afterlife which I would very soon be ascending to. It was incredibly elaborate, and when I was finished I looked at it and felt sure that it shared the message that I wanted to leave behind- who I was, the where I was going next. There was a section that I pinned up photos of all my beloved friends and family. Underneath each I placed a tack and a key.. I collect old keys when I find them, and I have my grandparents old key rings… each of my beloved friends and family members received a key. My deeply beloved girlfriend and spiritual soul-mate, (who was in New York at this time, and already asleep for the night) received three keys; two extras.

And then I knew I was done telling my story, and that it was time to move on. I was still being driven, and enjoying the sensation… I did not know what was coming next, but at the same time I was not questioning or wondering either. I felt a sense of total calm serenity… of peace and pleasure. I was having great fun and was totally in the moment… simply enjoying the show that was unfolding before my eyes.

I had recently purchased a few candle holders at a garage sale. The four holders were metal and tall, skinny, and somewhat unstable… but they were dirt cheap. :-) I grabbed them, and four large candles that had all been burned before, years earlier… but they were all I had, and so I grabbed them and set them up in my bedroom, on my dresser. My dresser and my living space is very full… not messy, but full. I prefer full, intricate, and orderly artwork and environments and I strive to create both. What I'm trying to say is, there's shit everywhere but it's not a mess. And so my dresser was this way but I set the candles up and lit them anyway. And items that I knew I owned, but had not seen in years somehow materialized in my hand… a pair of 3-D glasses that came with a comic book from my childhood… a red pair of glasses called "Valiant Vision", that make the light do funny things and apparently enhance the reading of comic books… I had not thought of these glasses in 10-15 years but somehow they appeared in my hand that night… maybe they were in my box of art supplies? Anyway… a heavy blindfold that a previous girlfriend had left at my house a few years ago, this blindfold also appeared in my hand the same way. And I received the command to put them both on, the funny glasses first, and then the blindfold… put the blindfold on over the glasses, but for now, leave the blindfold pulled up. And lie down on your bed, on your back, and get comfortable.

Excuse me for one second… I really need to take a quick break before I start describing my vision (or delusion, depending on your viewpoint). I'll post all of this for now and type up the vision itself when I return. If you are reading this, thank you. :-)

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Quantum Sunlight
post Oct 31, 2011, 03:19 PM
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All right, picking back up where I left off. As I said, I was on my bed, with the Valiant Vision glasses on and the blindfold on my forehead. I started to feel tired, but I was told I needed to stare into the candlelight for a while. You've probably never seen and heard of these glasses before. Maybe I can post a picture of them once I pass whatever posting threshold is required for me to post pictures or links to these forums. They're not 3-D glasses, both lenses are clear. But they have a very pronounced effect on light. It creates prisms that extend outwards from each light source; huge, vivid prisms full to bursting with ROY G BIV. The interesting part though is that the glasses also connect you to these prisms. When you look a candle's flame, for instance, a prismatic halo is created. The light source is on one end, creating this shimmering prismatic halo effect… and your own head, your eyes, wearing the glasses, are positioned on the exact opposite side of this circle. Staring into the four candles (3 white and 1 orange candles, each previously burned down as I mentioned earlier), I saw four prismatic rings of rainbow colored light, dancing up and down the diameters of four perfect circles, eventually reaching my own eyes. I felt almost like my mind was receiving a computer program that had been coded into these prismatic bursts of brightly-colored light… eventually, after what seemed to be perhaps 15-20 minutes, I was told to pull down the blindfold and lie flat on my back. It was also made clear to me that I was not to move my body in any way, and I was not to remove my blindfold.

As soon as I lay back and became one with the total blackness, I realized my consciousness was in two places. I was still on my bed, but at the same time, in a way that seemed even more real to me, I was traveling a great, great distance through the universe, very, very quickly. And I chuckled to myself because I realized that mankind is seriously barking up the wrong tree in regards to space travel! And so I was traveling through space very quickly I could tell I was passing a lot of space real estate very quickly. And somewhere about this time 'God' began to talk to me again, as we traveled. First, we talked about my deeply beloved girlfriend that I mentioned to you earlier. God told me that she was ill, and this is true, she is sick too often, and she does seem to suffer from a weakened immune system. He asked me if I still wanted to be with her, knowing that she would die long before me, and I would suffer in grief for the rest of my life after her passing… that I would be without her as long as I would be with her, and the grief would be terrible. And I said- of course. And then he asked me, if I could take all of the suffering that her and I combined would ever endure in our lives, and represent it's total as a percentage… how much of that 100% would I allocate to endure myself, and how much would I choose for her to endure? And I thought for a second, and I realized that I could never choose for her to suffer in any amount if I could choose instead for her not to suffer instead. And so I told God that I must insist on taking the full 100% of suffering myself, leaving her with 100% of our shared life and vitality. I told God, I could not bear for it to be allocated any differently because I love her too much to ever inflict suffering on her. And God asked me if I would give my life for her, and I said "of course".

And then God asked me the same question, only this time the total sum of suffering to be allocated was mine and my mother's instead. And of course I told him the same thing- I could never consciously choose for my Mother to endure any amount of harm so that I could avoid the suffering myself.

As we continued to zip through space toward some unknown destination on the other side of the universe, God 'caused me to understand' that the orange candle burning on the pillar beside my bed represented the combined love of all the mothers that had ever come before, who had lived their lives on Earth. The orange candle, which was burned down almost to nothing, represented the love and the eternal spirit of every ancestral mother that had ever come before on Earth. At the same time, the orange candle also represented our own Sun. Without our sun there is no life, and never could be, as our star is the source of all life and all warmth to our planet, and the combined spirits of all of our mothers keep it burning with unconditional love that will burn for us all, eternally. And from the Sun our mothers will always look down at us, loving us always; their eyes filled to the brim with undying motherly love for us, their children. And God told me then that our sun was also sick. And he asked me then if I would also give up my life for all of our mothers, so that through them the sun could continue sharing the priceless gifts of life and warmth… and I said "Of course". And then God told me- "Prove it".

At this point it was made clear to me that at some point, without realizing it, my human body had thrashed about in bed and I had bumped into my disorderly dresser; toppling over the rickety and unstable candle holders. One of the candles had fallen and was slowly setting fire to my drapes… but God had made it very clear that he wanted me to lie still and not to move… ultimately giving up my life, the way that I had just promised him I would. My mind suddenly realized that I had disarmed all of the smoke detectors earlier that month after I had set them off burning a pizza in the oven. And I "saw" the room behind my blindfold slowly grow brighter and brighter, and I felt it get more and more warm… the metal badges on my shoulders quickly became red hot, and I felt them burning my skin as they became warmer and warmer. Yet it was all happening very very slowly… I wanted to die as quickly as possible, but it was agonizing and it seemed to go on forever. I tried to flee body, to ascend entirely with my consciousness into space and leave my body to burn, to escape the horrible burning pain I felt…

And then suddenly, while my Earthly body continued to slowly burn up, God told me that we had reached our destination, wherever we had been heading to, deep in space. And I realized then that my beloved girlfriend, the girl I always called "Sunshine", because she is the warmth in my universe… she shines on me and she makes every part of my life better, just by being herself, and being with me… I realized she was now with me too. And my spirit was truly overjoyed to be reunited with her! God 'told' me then that while Sunshine had been sleeping, she had also tested, the same way that I had been… and she had told God in her dream the very same things- that she would die for me, rather than ever cause any harm to come to me. And I became truly overwhelmed with emotion and I showered her with my love and gratitude. She was very afraid though, so afraid that she could not speak. She has anxiety, and now it was manifesting itself as fear that had taken her voice from her. Next, God told us then that he loved us both very much, and that it was now time for her and I to "become one thing". Together her and I would become a new star, a new living cell in his physical body, and that our combined spirits, entangled together forever, would create a new solar system together. We would create new life together within us, and supply them with our life-giving warmth and love; together, forever, as one thing. Our consciousnesses would be fused together in the form of a star, and that within our new solar system we would 'know' together all that our sunlight fell upon. Together we would be 'god' over this new solar system, but at the same time, we would also experience life forever as the new "Adam and Eve", serving as the starting point to populate our new universe!

And then suddenly I became overwhelmed with the pain of burning to death. The pain was worse than I could continue to endure, I wanted my physical body to die so that I could free of it. And then suddenly, I realized it was her that was burning me. She was a star, and she was burning so hot that I couldn't stand the pain any longer. I begged her- "Sunshine, please, I need you to take my spirit inside of you, my love. My body is dying now, my spirit needs to enter your heart, so that I can continue to live inside of you, forever. Please take my spirit into your heart…" And I felt my Earth body finally die, and I lost my connection with it, and I was overjoyed. The burning pain still continued, but it was a distant pain, and one that I could stand and even enjoy, because I knew what I was feeling was her heat, and her warmth, and I was dwelling inside of her now. And I enjoyed being inside of her for some time, talking to her, telling her what I had experienced… she was so afraid though. She was terrified of the darkness of space around us, as we both knew there were nasty things lurking in the dark that we must always be on the watch for. And I knew then that my job was to protect her, always. She must sleep, and while she slept I must always watch out, and protect her. And she became thirsty then, and I was terribly thirsty as well… and I realized suddenly that I was the moon in this new solar system. I was the moon, and I watched out over her, and over the new planet we had just brought life to, together. And because I was the moon, I was able to draw up water from our planet using the tide… I drew up the moisture from our planet, and with my lips locked to hers, I breathed it into her, and she recovered her voice. She needed me to breath for her, and she needed me to drink for her, for us both. My spirit was truly, truly overjoyed and I broke down and cried and thanked God for what he had given us… I could never thank him enough for allowing us to be together forever like this, as a star; forever a part of him… and also giving life to a totally new solar system, a new universe; in which we would also eternally experience the joys of life, together forever both as Gods and citizens within ourselves.

And God reminded me then of what he had told me earlier… that he can see my soul, and always will be able to, because it is the reflection of sunlight in my eye. And now, he said, in my new form, he will always be able to see me the same way. I was almost totally invisible, because my spirit would dwell forever within the heart of beloved... However, he told me that he would still always be able to see me, by the reflection of sunlight in my eye… because I am the moon.

And then he told me to wake up from my trance, and to blow out the candles.
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Quantum Sunlight
post Oct 31, 2011, 05:28 PM
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Dianah, no thank YOU for reading all of that! I truly appreciate you sharing your thoughts with me.

I'm new to all of this so I'm not sure how to classify these experiences... Visions, dreams, trances, delusions...? I just don't know, this is all new to me and not something I ever consciously asked to receive. However, it has brought a new level of joy to my life that I never imagined existed, much less a state of bliss that I would get to enjoy living in every day.

Thank you again for letting me bend your ears Dianah. :-) I really love your avatar. Is that an open eye in the storm above the pyramid?
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Quantum Sunlight
post Nov 01, 2011, 07:19 AM
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Got those photoshops I mentioned posted finally. :-)

Photoshoppin'
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Quantum Sunlight
post Nov 01, 2011, 07:56 AM
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QUOTE(Dianah @ Nov 01, 2011, 08:34 AM) *

QUOTE(Quantum Sunlight @ Oct 31, 2011, 05:28 PM) *

Dianah, no thank YOU for reading all of that! I truly appreciate you sharing your thoughts with me.

I'm new to all of this so I'm not sure how to classify these experiences... Visions, dreams, trances, delusions...? I just don't know, this is all new to me and not something I ever consciously asked to receive. However, it has brought a new level of joy to my life that I never imagined existed, much less a state of bliss that I would get to enjoy living in every day.

Thank you again for letting me bend your ears Dianah. :-) I really love your avatar. Is that an open eye in the storm above the pyramid?


yes, that is an open eye above the pyramid.

I liked your art work.The tree with eyes, reminds me of Jacob Bohemes work.


Thank you Dianah, you are far too kind. I will investigate Mr. Bohemes work on your recommendation.

The symbolism of the open eye is so fascinating to me... it's something I have been drawing over and over since I was a little kid, every one of my doodles and drawings seems to start off with one. I wonder what it could mean, and why I'm so fascinated by it...

I used to be horrified of spiders. I suffered from an irrational fear of them... snakes, scorpions, bugs, creepy crawlies... NOTHING bothered me except spiders, who would immediately break me down into a quivering mass of fear. And then a few months ago, I had a dream... I was floating through the blackness of space (as I do just about every night in my dreams :-P), when "God" began to talk to me. He asked me- "Why are you so afraid of spiders? Do you not love me, in any form that I could take? If you could see me, I would look like a spider to you, because I have many, many eyes..." And I swear on my life that since that dream, my irrational fear of spiders no longer plagues me. I actually find them fascinating and hope to see them more frequently, actually. :-)

So, the point that I was actually trying to make is this... I wonder if having more eyes would allow us to see and interact with more of the dimensions predicted to exist by string theory... and I wonder if spiders actually exist in more dimensions than we do...
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Quantum Sunlight
post Nov 04, 2011, 08:10 AM
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Nobody asked, but I'm going to post a few pages anyway. Just because. :-P

I am part of a person. What I think about

Comes true.

Therefore I am a dream.

What you expect to see is what you see.

They know I will do the right thing...

I am a universe.

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